Unknown comic Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I got caught in the rain once. Apparently you have to bring your own piña coladas.
←Rate | 10-12-2015 09:37 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:48 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone know how long we are supposed to "Shake It Off"? Taylor never specified and frankly I'm exhausted!
←Rate | 03-20-2016 20:44 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon WAKE UP America!!! Are we going to let five UNELECTED dentists decide whether or not we choose Trident?
←Rate | 06-28-2015 18:52 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you're a tailor and your shop's name isn't "Britches get stitches" then what's the point?
←Rate | 04-21-2016 05:41 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: there's no manly way to put on chapstick. I usually just make a mean face and hum Tupac songs.
←Rate | 07-16-2015 05:33 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow's assignment: end every conversation with "Thank you for teaching me how to love again."
←Rate | 08-08-2015 05:41 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Password security questions allow me to relive all of my childhood traumas. "Who stood you up for Senior Prom and how did your first dog die?"
←Rate | 10-21-2016 05:11 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun thing to do with when you're watching "JAWS" with someone is lean over halfway through and whisper "I think the shark did it."
←Rate | 06-21-2015 07:46 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Truth time: I've been cheating on my diet. With a younger, more attractive diet.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:04 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry I dropped your baby when the theme from Friends came on and I had to clap along.
←Rate | 11-21-2015 07:10 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked what to bring for Thanksgiving this year and my mom said it was up to me so I'm bringing a wireless router.
←Rate | 11-21-2015 07:08 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hangman is a great tool to teach children that if you can't spell a word, someone could lose their life because of their ignorance
←Rate | 10-21-2016 05:20 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't even like typing this, but can we all agree that the spelling of "diarrhea" is nearly as gross as the symptom?
←Rate | 03-10-2017 06:59 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand why they called it "WebMD" when they could have called it "Sickipedia."
←Rate | 07-24-2016 07:34 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people don't know where "to" put quotation marks.
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:31 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a little joke I put glitter in my tax-return envelope and the IRS responded with a little joke that I owe $ 11,000 in back taxes.
←Rate | 02-12-2016 21:18 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Christmas prank: give your mom a new iPhone then refuse to help her set it up
←Rate | 12-24-2016 10:36 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies are like little miracles that poop wherever they want and scream at everybody
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:03 by unknown comic Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like using those "family restrooms" because everyone can sit on the toilet together.
←Rate | 08-08-2015 05:51 by unknown comic Comments (0)  




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