Thejoke.cafe Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Trump and Hillary are on the same plane. Plane crashes, who survives? America
←Rate | 08-03-2016 10:55 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon if Trump can't keep people from climbing his tower, how is he going to keep them from climbing his wall?
←Rate | 08-11-2016 02:37 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters. So Trump can’t tweet it.
←Rate | 01-12-2017 00:53 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did my wife cross the road? To get back to the first shoe shop we went in three hours ago.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:14 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked into a florist today and said “I want a bunch of flowers for my wife.” The cashier looked at me and said, “What are you after?” I said, “Some sex.”
←Rate | 03-03-2017 07:10 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was young at bedtimes my mum always told me a story with a happy ending. One of the benefits of having a mum from Thailand I suppose.
←Rate | 10-26-2016 11:48 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon My New Years resolution is simple…. Remember to write 2017 instead of 2016
←Rate | 12-31-2016 07:13 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hillary Clinton should be the first f-president. I was going to say female but somebody deleted the 'emale'.
←Rate | 08-03-2016 10:57 by thejoke.cafe Comments (1)  


   messageicon My wife’s leaving me as I’m too controlling. It’s ok though, I’m not letting her.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:14 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
←Rate | 10-26-2016 11:49 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard a rumour Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary. It seems the last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth.
←Rate | 11-08-2016 08:43 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I caught my wee brother sniffing my girlfriend’s knickers today. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’ve been wearing them all week.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:11 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He’s very serious about trying to make the USA grate again.
←Rate | 09-14-2016 12:14 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon For my New Year’s Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sex. If 2016 is anything to go by, I’ve quit.
←Rate | 12-31-2016 07:15 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you rearrange the letters in the words Faith and Religion, you can make “Microwave.” No, don’t test it or question it, just believe me.
←Rate | 09-26-2016 12:02 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sometimes you just need a car ride to clear your head." — John. F. Kennedy
←Rate | 03-01-2017 01:08 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be getting older, but I remember back in my day, if you took pics of yourself to show all your mates, you were a faggot.
←Rate | 02-10-2017 23:55 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clinton vs Trump. Whoever wins, We lose.
←Rate | 11-08-2016 11:35 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants? Because E.T. eventually went home!
←Rate | 09-17-2016 10:00 by Thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope you all have a prosperous New Year … I may have to borrow money.
←Rate | 12-31-2016 07:15 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  




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