StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.
←Rate | 01-03-2015 17:58 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn't!", he in fact did.
←Rate | 12-15-2012 18:47 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't make it very long as a tattoo artist because I would always be asking "You're kidding me, right, you want that?"
←Rate | 05-13-2013 19:15 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the utensils that were invented to eat rice with... How the f**k did two sticks win?
←Rate | 02-09-2013 10:51 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I've already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
←Rate | 10-21-2014 14:38 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car broke down outside Dominos last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift off the driver.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 15:18 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
←Rate | 06-18-2012 16:10 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does this 50 pound bag of cat food make me look single?
←Rate | 02-24-2013 22:08 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing's more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 10:05 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon Job applications are stupid. "Why do you want to work for us?" Oh, I've always had a passion for frozen yogurt.....b*tch I'm broke!!
←Rate | 07-01-2013 10:58 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer but you can't take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
←Rate | 12-18-2014 16:58 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying "sorry breaking up with you" or that a minute later she text me back "sorry wrong number."
←Rate | 05-11-2013 19:45 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
←Rate | 04-23-2015 10:46 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
←Rate | 01-29-2014 13:06 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found a bag of marijuana at work last week, and like any responsible employee, I disposed of it. In a series of small fires
←Rate | 04-16-2013 13:49 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that's also the last time I'll buy cheap toilet paper...
←Rate | 09-06-2012 17:10 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you come up to my bedroom door and there is a sock on the door handle it means I'm having sex..... Probably with the other sock.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 01:45 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day when someone rings my doorbell I'm gonna stand by the window with a straight face and just stare at them to see what they would do
←Rate | 10-19-2012 10:16 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want a cream pie recipe you just type cream pie in Google and WAIT GRANDMA NO!!!
←Rate | 08-06-2012 13:33 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I'm kidding, it's her boobs.
←Rate | 09-06-2012 13:53 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


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