Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Diet tip: If you fatten up everyone around you, you will look thinner.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 17:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon In other news....Hannah Montana changes her name to Hannah Idaho.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 16:13 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two things you can always be certain about when it comes to women: 1) They're always cold. 2) It’s somehow your fault.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 19:53 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon In order to refrain from spending too much on Christmas, I'm voluntarily placing myself in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 08:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses and play scrabble. SCIENCE!
←Rate | 02-04-2014 19:57 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do your friends always wait until you breakup with someone to tell you that they thought they were ugly?
←Rate | 08-01-2013 10:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you first start dating a girl, they say to look at their Mother to see how they'll look as they age. However.....I feel very judgmental when their Mother is practically the same age as I am:)
←Rate | 05-12-2010 21:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only you can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
←Rate | 08-07-2013 21:08 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to all my FB Friends, for once again, reminding me it's Friday. This is also FB Spring Cleaning Weekend. Time to remove all the apps, polls, fan pages, pictures and friends you just don't need or want anymore.
←Rate | 03-26-2010 12:56 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd tap that...Haha....kidding I wouldn't even poke that on Facebook.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 08:35 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never judge or insult you because of your beliefs. I'm just kidding idiot.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 09:39 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon So...I met this really nice girl at closing time last night. Granted, she's missing both her front teeth but Christmas is coming, right?!? I think it can work...
←Rate | 12-09-2010 08:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're wondering at what point I stopped caring, it was pretty much when you said, "Hi, my name is _________."
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great....you discovered youtube. Now, can you quit flooding the newsfeed with the 200 videos you wish to share!!!
←Rate | 10-19-2010 22:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Today I watched a bee land on my arm. I let it sting me while I just stared at it and said, "Is it in yet?" just to make it feel insecure.
←Rate | 07-21-2013 19:38 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, my lost and found box is getting full. So, if you're missing an earring, silk scarves, lingerie or a prosthetic leg....let me know.
←Rate | 11-08-2010 10:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber goes to jail. Writes "Free JB!" on wall in protest. Learns cellmate is dyslexic.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:12 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no such thing as being "big boned." How many fat skeletons have you ever seen???
←Rate | 07-27-2010 21:46 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ever accidentally pull something out of your purse thinkin it was a pen when checking out?? Yep, that's how my days goin...
←Rate | 10-14-2010 21:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know that one idiot that always flies by you when the roads are crappy? Am I the only one that secretly wishes they would go in the ditch or wreck their car?
←Rate | 02-08-2014 19:11 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  



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