Maureen Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "Hello Wednesday morning....for a moment, I thought you were your friend, Friday! Forgive the disappointed look!"
←Rate | 12-15-2010 08:54 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son informed me that he does NOT lie. He simply creates fiction with his mouth from time to time.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 11:36 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon has come to realize that my job is like an episode of "LOST". Confusing, filled with a lot of interesting characters and just when I think I have it figured out - everything changes.
←Rate | 01-24-2011 13:06 by Maureen Comments (3)  


   messageicon freely admits that I don't know how to play Minesweeper - I just click random boxes hoping I'm right.
←Rate | 01-28-2013 23:53 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks my three “uh huhs” in a row should prove that I haven't heard a word you said!
←Rate | 03-23-2012 15:41 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon just here to establish my alibi.
←Rate | 03-17-2012 23:52 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, I'm so sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
←Rate | 02-13-2012 12:53 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die, I have made my husband promise to update my FB status with “Who knew they had Wi-Fi up here?!?”
←Rate | 03-23-2012 15:39 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me put things into perspective for you....persp(things)ective....​you're welcome!
←Rate | 08-20-2012 21:13 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you judge Mitt Romney, try walking a mile in his backyard.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 11:54 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: the five stages of me getting up every morning!
←Rate | 04-11-2012 20:39 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 08:21 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon ever since watching the SNL skit, I can never hear BOC's "Don't Fear The Reaper" without thinking - "Man, that song could use some more cowbell!"
←Rate | 12-12-2010 19:39 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon turns out I don't know the back of my hand as well as I thought I did.
←Rate | 07-29-2012 15:28 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon will never be an Olympic athlete...but I did participate in a Toyotathon once!
←Rate | 07-28-2012 11:45 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "Who's blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
←Rate | 02-28-2012 17:59 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon been making the same mistakes for so long that I've taken to just calling them "my traditions!"
←Rate | 02-29-2012 23:26 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon makes a mean cup of coffee! This one just told me I'm not as funny as I think I am.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 19:09 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon swears that about a third of my life is spent trying to remember why I have entered a room.
←Rate | 03-17-2012 23:50 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not all that glitters is gold. Take, for instance, glitter.
←Rate | 08-13-2012 22:24 by Maureen Comments (0)  



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