K-Mac Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Ever notice that after you and some friends order a pizza the only conversation you have is "where the hell is the pizza?"
←Rate | 07-02-2012 15:16 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess North Korea's illustrious leader is too stupid to realize if he launches an attack, North Korea will be wiped from the map.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 07:29 by K-Mac Comments (1)  


   messageicon We've been duped. After all the books I've read, I can't believe it took me this long to realize they are all written with just 26 letters rearranged in different order. What a rip-off.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 11:55 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to admit myself into the Hokey-Pokey Institute and turn my life around.
←Rate | 01-15-2012 14:57 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hurricane is losing strength, damn. I was hoping for a new boat in my front yard.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 19:34 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here in Government first.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 21:10 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many of my friends out there update their status' on their Blackberrys?....well?....Hello....<crickets>
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:57 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think we should celebrate Canada Day be giving Bieber back.
←Rate | 07-01-2012 21:32 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish my neighbor's dog would take the hint that my leg just wants to be friends.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 14:36 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon One good thing about hurricane Irene. The news has pre-empted NASCAR on the east coast.
←Rate | 08-27-2011 19:56 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life may be a mess, but I know where everything is.
←Rate | 07-15-2012 19:53 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm feeling kind of heavenly today, I just turned water into Kool-Aid.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 09:11 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never look for leftover fireworks in your car with a lighter. Good news is I now have a sunroof.
←Rate | 07-05-2012 18:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insomnia is nature's way of saying you're not done bugging people for the day.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 22:12 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's be sensitive this Halloween and not be rude. They are no longer "Ghosts", they are Apparition Americans.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 09:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon You cannot have a Zen garden with the little rake and sand if you also have a cat. Trust me.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 12:06 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon A picnic is a great way to see what all the foods you love would taste like if you added ants.
←Rate | 07-07-2012 18:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what happened and at what point a youngster decides, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a proctologist".
←Rate | 12-17-2011 11:58 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before Facebook and online dating, I seriously don't think I've ever seen a picture of a person in their bathroom.
←Rate | 06-08-2012 21:23 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I get older my fantasy hasn't changed, I still want two women at the same time, the only difference is......one cooking and one cleaning.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 00:01 by K-Mac Comments (0)  




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