K-Mac Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon That terrifying moment when your cat walks into the room, stares at something you can't see and runs away in a panic.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 08:49 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon She's not the sharpest marble in the crayon shed.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 09:00 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was driving through a parking lot and this young guy was walking along, texting. He briefly glanced at my truck passing by and was timing his walk so he would pass by right behind my truck as I drove by....he didn't see the ladder sticking out the back.
←Rate | 08-29-2012 20:36 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice that after you and some friends order a pizza the only conversation you have is "where the hell is the pizza?"
←Rate | 07-02-2012 15:16 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's be sensitive this Halloween and not be rude. They are no longer "Ghosts", they are Apparition Americans.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 09:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon We've been duped. After all the books I've read, I can't believe it took me this long to realize they are all written with just 26 letters rearranged in different order. What a rip-off.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 11:55 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hurricane is losing strength, damn. I was hoping for a new boat in my front yard.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 19:34 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here in Government first.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 21:10 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many of my friends out there update their status' on their Blackberrys?....well?....Hello....<crickets>
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:57 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think we should celebrate Canada Day be giving Bieber back.
←Rate | 07-01-2012 21:32 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish my neighbor's dog would take the hint that my leg just wants to be friends.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 14:36 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life may be a mess, but I know where everything is.
←Rate | 07-15-2012 19:53 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon One good thing about hurricane Irene. The news has pre-empted NASCAR on the east coast.
←Rate | 08-27-2011 19:56 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm feeling kind of heavenly today, I just turned water into Kool-Aid.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 09:11 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insomnia is nature's way of saying you're not done bugging people for the day.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 22:12 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon You cannot have a Zen garden with the little rake and sand if you also have a cat. Trust me.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 12:06 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon A picnic is a great way to see what all the foods you love would taste like if you added ants.
←Rate | 07-07-2012 18:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what happened and at what point a youngster decides, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a proctologist".
←Rate | 12-17-2011 11:58 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before Facebook and online dating, I seriously don't think I've ever seen a picture of a person in their bathroom.
←Rate | 06-08-2012 21:23 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I get older my fantasy hasn't changed, I still want two women at the same time, the only difference is......one cooking and one cleaning.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 00:01 by K-Mac Comments (0)  



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