Hot Tea Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon At lunch, and just ordered a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich to see which would come first.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 16:21 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon A highly dangerous virus called "Weekly Overload Recreational Killer" (WORK) is currently going around. If you come in contact with this WORK virus, you should immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center to take antidotes known
←Rate | 09-21-2011 21:52 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Normally my dog opens the door with his face, tonight he sat and looked up at me when we got to the door. So I opened it with my face, I can see now why he's not a fan of this method.
←Rate | 08-03-2011 11:23 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of drinking beer today I'm drinking wine, because I have a cold and wine has vitamin C.
←Rate | 02-17-2013 12:36 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon How's everyone holding up? It's crazy out there! I've killed, like, 15 zombies already! How come they are all holding candy?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:45 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I needed to find a donut shop. I didn't want to attempt to start up the GPS on my phone while driving. I followed a cop. It took 4 minutes.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 20:12 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll start to believe video games cause people to be violent when I see someone get arrested for killing a pig by slingshotting a bird at it.
←Rate | 01-07-2013 00:18 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've fallen down the stairs before. I don't see what joy the Slinky gets out of it. That sh!t hurts.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 18:52 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 21:54 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Romania's entire government has a complete collapse today and the #1 item on the news is some has-been country singer getting popped for being drunk.
←Rate | 02-06-2012 23:39 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon set my phone to "Airplane Mode" and it told me not to call it Shirley.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 02:11 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon My money is on Sacha Baron Cohen playing Dzhokhar Tsarnaev in the biopic.
←Rate | 04-20-2013 00:08 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'm ready for a man in my life again. I cleaned out one drawer...in the kitchen, two inches of hanger space...in the hall closet and enough room for one pair of shoes...on the porch.
←Rate | 01-31-2010 15:52 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have to shave our armpits. Whose idea was that? That's a concave area with a straight razor. The best I can do is a mohawk.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 00:41 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes Officer, I do know why you pulled me over. To single-handedly destroy any chance I had of accomplishing my New Years Resolution goal of becoming a Saint before the sun even came up this morning.
←Rate | 01-01-2011 15:11 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know about you, but I can't wait to be ashamed about what I do this weekend.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 18:14 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not with me, you're against me!! And, if you're against me...well, hello there!! ;)
←Rate | 10-26-2010 03:52 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my next life, I pray Zinggers don't taste so good.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 19:37 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonders how much I will go for on ebay. Let the bidding begin!!!
←Rate | 10-24-2010 04:29 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you think it means if there's no fortune in your cookie?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 17:35 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  



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