Heather25 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm tired of people seeing me and telling me they called me and I didn't pick up. "Yes, I remember ignoring that".
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:38 by Heather25 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Sometimes while I drink my coffee I stare out the window and ask myself "How many people am I going to cuss out today"
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:15 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What pisses you off more? The fact that I don't need you in my life...or that you can't have me in yours??
←Rate | 10-09-2010 19:37 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know the economy is getting bad when the ice cream truck has a sign on it that says we now accept foodstamps, Visa and Mastercard.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:23 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever fire up your leaf blower and blow your neighbor's chihuahua down the street??
←Rate | 10-11-2010 18:58 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon convinced there is NO functional family. Every family has a relative they would prefer to keep kidden. If you think your family doesn't have one...it's YOU.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:39 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I respect you so much I salute you with 1 finger!
←Rate | 10-09-2010 19:31 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that if you see someone healthy parking in a handicapped zone, when they exit their car, you should be able to make an honest person out of them!
←Rate | 12-22-2010 15:13 by Heather25 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I have a computer, a vibrator and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
←Rate | 10-01-2010 13:40 by Heather25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon You are so funny, but looks aren't everything!!
←Rate | 10-01-2010 15:01 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I open the fridge and stare at the contents for no reason at all.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 20:05 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're not ugly, your simply hard to look at...that's ALL!!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 19:38 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of becoming a ninja is to make loud unnecessary noises when you hit things!!!
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:19 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Only Gracious Way To Accept An Insult Is To Ignore It. If You Can't Ignore It, Top It. If You Can't Top It, Laugh At It. If You Can't Laugh At It, It's Probably Deserved. ;)
←Rate | 10-01-2010 14:23 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your ex says: "You'll never find someone like me" you are supposed to turn around and say: "God I sure hope not!!"
←Rate | 12-23-2010 13:46 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 13:29 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a cop asks you, "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" It is never a good idea to respond, "Because my tires look like donuts?"
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:58 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was playing air guitar and ripped her spandex while doing a mock stage dive off the sofa!!
←Rate | 10-11-2010 18:48 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
←Rate | 10-03-2010 02:42 by Heather25 Comments (10)  


   messageicon The best revenge is success, or laxatives in cookies. ;)
←Rate | 12-08-2010 14:59 by Heather25 Comments (0)  



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