Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon How dare you incinerate that I don't know big words.
←Rate | 11-26-2012 19:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon if Da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20125215-00854.jpg"
←Rate | 01-11-2013 12:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've had six red bulls so of course I'm counting all the leaves on the trees as I drive past them.
←Rate | 10-12-2012 09:33 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon In California, you can get a medical marijuana prescription for anxiety, insomnia, or wanting your Lean Cuisine to taste like real food.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:09 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon You've gotta admit, cuddling with a giant panda would ALMOST be worth getting your face ripped off.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 23:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by handyman you mean someone with a nice collection of wrenches that came with unassembled furniture then yes, I'm a handyman...
←Rate | 07-20-2015 23:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon All the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting up in my truck.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 14:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon just heard a woodpecker call me a "paranoid weirdo" in morse code.
←Rate | 10-07-2012 08:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bath salts side effects include: hallucinations, delusions, erratic behavior, immunity to bullets and being a terrible kisser.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 19:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 19:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so good in bed...I'll make you forget your safe word.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 08:38 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Just Be yourself" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.
←Rate | 02-06-2013 10:59 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The saddest part in The Lion King 3D is that part when I can't afford a movie ticket at 27 years old.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 19:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Miley Cyrus eats Twerky for Thanksgiving..... (I am so sorry)
←Rate | 11-25-2013 18:17 by Doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon Really Baileys? Non alcoholic coffee creamers? Is that to recover from the O'Doul's hangover?
←Rate | 10-29-2012 08:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am pretty sure I have regained my virginity.
←Rate | 10-12-2012 09:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know my dream woman is out there somewhere. And that her boring friend is the one who's into me.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 01:20 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not so much anti-social as I am pro-being left alone.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 21:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women like a man with confidence. Because without that, what's to destroy?
←Rate | 03-02-2012 11:11 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon National Sarcasm Society - Like we need your support...
←Rate | 01-04-2012 05:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  



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