Danmanz Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You're born looking like your parents, but you'll die looking like your decisions.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 14:08 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have six kids with six different fathers and you're on this online dating site looking for a honest and committed man with no kids...ok..good luck....
←Rate | 09-07-2011 16:20 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you thought about being a bit selective when uploading photos. We don't need to see the WHOLE PHOTO SESSION.
←Rate | 03-05-2010 22:58 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a question: You ever wonder how many REAL friends you had before the whole Facebook, Myspace, & Twitter thing came into existence?.......You're wondering now.
←Rate | 11-18-2009 17:33 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon YOUR interest in your own kids: 100% Everybody else's interest in YOUR kids: 0.3%
←Rate | 03-08-2010 01:48 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever go to sleep late afternoon and wake up after dark....and you don't know what damn day it is?
←Rate | 09-29-2011 04:30 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad people don't talk the way they spell, text, or type.
←Rate | 05-11-2011 11:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Played Tiger Woods PGA Tour '10 the other day. Funny thing was that the 'cheat codes' were already put into the game.
←Rate | 03-28-2010 09:44 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny how they wanna friends AFTER they stomped, crushed, torched, ripped, backstabbed and oh yeah....broke your heart.
←Rate | 04-07-2010 16:30 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hated taking quizzes in school, why the hell are you doing them on Facebook......and putting them on my News Feed?
←Rate | 05-18-2010 17:39 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend said she needed some time alone to herself, so I set her up a Myspace account.
←Rate | 02-03-2012 00:34 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine.
←Rate | 03-15-2012 15:18 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're so creative taking pictures of your face in 11 different angles with your phone. How do you do it??
←Rate | 10-22-2011 00:32 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon have you ever slept so good you couldn't wait to do it again as soon as you woke up?
←Rate | 03-26-2010 18:26 by Danmanz Comments (1)  


   messageicon Could you put some creativity in your pics. Nobody wants to see you make the same face 8 different ways.
←Rate | 03-19-2010 15:14 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
←Rate | 06-16-2010 22:28 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog was barking at the back door and my wife was yelling at the front door. I always let the dog in first because at least its shuts up when it gets in the house.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 23:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon The internet does not make people ignorant, it just makes their ignorance visible to everyone else.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 18:07 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: "What was your major in college?" Friend: "I'm majoring in Debtology and Unemployconomics. Sure is a lot of students in the classes."
←Rate | 10-25-2011 15:12 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon The media loves controlling this country. They promote NOT to drink & drive/text & drive but yet every third commercial its either about a car, a phone, or a alcoholic drink...and a little bit of insurance ads down your throat.
←Rate | 06-02-2011 00:46 by Danmanz Comments (0)  



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