Danmanz Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Clerk: Hi, welcome To McDonalds, what can I get you? Me: Yeah, can I get half a dozen chicken nuggets please? Clerk: Oh I'm sorry, we only serve 6, 10 or 20-piece. Me: So you can't serve me half a dozen chicken nuggets? Clerk: No sir Me: OK, interesting.
←Rate | 08-31-2011 17:58 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you thought about being a bit selective when uploading photos. We don't need to see the WHOLE PHOTO SESSION.
←Rate | 03-05-2010 22:58 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hated taking quizzes in school, why the hell are you doing them on Facebook......and putting them on my News Feed?
←Rate | 05-18-2010 17:39 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tips for Guys on Valentine's Day: Tell your girl you already got somethingn and make her guess. She'll automatically list things she want.
←Rate | 01-28-2013 01:44 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Thanksgiving. Don't forget to set your scale forward 45 lbs. ahead.
←Rate | 11-22-2012 00:11 by Danmanz Comments (1)  


   messageicon Could you put some creativity in your pics. Nobody wants to see you make the same face 8 different ways.
←Rate | 03-19-2010 15:14 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You've been backstabbed, rejected, unwanted, abandoned, betrayed, tricked, lied to, ridiculed, cheated on, heartbroken, defeated, and said NO to all your life...Did it kill you? Of course not...just made you stronger. USE IT.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 19:56 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
←Rate | 06-16-2010 22:28 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're born looking like your parents, but you'll die looking like your decisions.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 14:08 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful of those who pat you on the back. They might be looking for a soft spot to plant the knife.
←Rate | 02-27-2014 19:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon YOUR interest in your own kids: 100% Everybody else's interest in YOUR kids: 0.3%
←Rate | 03-08-2010 01:48 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever go to sleep late afternoon and wake up after dark....and you don't know what damn day it is?
←Rate | 09-29-2011 04:30 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad people don't talk the way they spell, text, or type.
←Rate | 05-11-2011 11:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog was barking at the back door and my wife was yelling at the front door. I always let the dog in first because at least its shuts up when it gets in the house.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 23:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend said she needed some time alone to herself, so I set her up a Myspace account.
←Rate | 02-03-2012 00:34 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're so creative taking pictures of your face in 11 different angles with your phone. How do you do it??
←Rate | 10-22-2011 00:32 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine.
←Rate | 03-15-2012 15:18 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon does anyone else always feel really bad playing that 'No Russian' mission on Modern Warfare 2, but at the same time loving it?
←Rate | 04-16-2010 21:34 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon The internet does not make people ignorant, it just makes their ignorance visible to everyone else.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 18:07 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hang around four broke people, I guarantee you will be the fifth.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 15:49 by Danmanz Comments (0)  




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