Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
←Rate | 06-25-2014 00:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
←Rate | 11-21-2014 00:37 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt you can walk into any RadioShack and start working.
←Rate | 03-21-2014 13:46 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Say what you want about Canada but they successfully got rid of Justin Bieber.
←Rate | 05-24-2014 12:12 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh is it really raining outside? Please post a status update for all of us with no windows.
←Rate | 04-01-2012 10:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls who say "thongs are more comfortable than regular panties" know that all men hear is, "I like things in my butt."
←Rate | 09-06-2013 13:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't know this but right after you leave the restaurant with your crying baby the rest of us applaud.
←Rate | 05-14-2012 15:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My new girlfriend said a small d*ck shouldn't be a problem as long as we truly love each other. This was right before she showed it to me.
←Rate | 07-27-2013 14:05 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being white has its disadvantages too, you know. It can be super hard to find a rap song on iTunes when you spell all the words correctly.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 12:36 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked past a car filled with Mexican teens and they locked all the doors. I was feeling like a bad ass until I realized, it was my damn car.
←Rate | 05-27-2012 11:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't ask me stupid questions and I won't hurt your stupid feelings.
←Rate | 10-27-2012 15:51 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever my wife and I fight about money, her vagina shuts down. So I get it US Government, I get it.
←Rate | 10-03-2013 14:45 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I order a pizza online & it asks "Do you accept the terms and conditions?" I'm ordering a pizza, not launching a nuclear weapon.
←Rate | 08-16-2013 13:50 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember people, good manners is what separates us from the French
←Rate | 02-09-2013 10:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
←Rate | 03-18-2014 13:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you think your life couldn't be any more pathetic, remember some people have more than 1 Facebook account.
←Rate | 05-13-2014 09:21 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So this whole working for a living sh*t goes on for how long?
←Rate | 10-29-2014 12:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other. She is my buttercup and i'm her useless sack of s hit.
←Rate | 10-05-2012 14:21 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
←Rate | 07-01-2014 01:05 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every mile you jog adds 1 minute to your life, so when you're 85 you can spend an extra 5 months in a nursing home at $8,000 per month.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 12:46 by Baddie Comments (0)  



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