Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I see your swag and I raise you a high school education.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 15:00 by Baddie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just gave my girlfriend my two week notice.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 14:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something.
←Rate | 08-10-2014 13:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm old enough to remember when a selfie was some lotion and a box of Kleenex.
←Rate | 09-17-2014 01:49 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
←Rate | 06-25-2014 00:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
←Rate | 11-21-2014 00:37 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Got any drugs or alcohol on you?" "yup, I'm all set. Thanks Officer"
←Rate | 09-21-2013 10:34 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt you can walk into any RadioShack and start working.
←Rate | 03-21-2014 13:46 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Say what you want about Canada but they successfully got rid of Justin Bieber.
←Rate | 05-24-2014 12:12 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh is it really raining outside? Please post a status update for all of us with no windows.
←Rate | 04-01-2012 10:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls who say "thongs are more comfortable than regular panties" know that all men hear is, "I like things in my butt."
←Rate | 09-06-2013 13:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon All cursive neck tattoos should just say ‘child support.
←Rate | 01-13-2014 13:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked past a car filled with Mexican teens and they locked all the doors. I was feeling like a bad ass until I realized, it was my damn car.
←Rate | 05-27-2012 11:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever my wife and I fight about money, her vagina shuts down. So I get it US Government, I get it.
←Rate | 10-03-2013 14:45 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I order a pizza online & it asks "Do you accept the terms and conditions?" I'm ordering a pizza, not launching a nuclear weapon.
←Rate | 08-16-2013 13:50 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So this whole working for a living sh*t goes on for how long?
←Rate | 10-29-2014 12:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember people, good manners is what separates us from the French
←Rate | 02-09-2013 10:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
←Rate | 07-01-2014 01:05 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other. She is my buttercup and i'm her useless sack of s hit.
←Rate | 10-05-2012 14:21 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every mile you jog adds 1 minute to your life, so when you're 85 you can spend an extra 5 months in a nursing home at $8,000 per month.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 12:46 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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