Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon This is the first good sized snow fall of the season and honestly the weather on TV is acting like the terrorism threat levels just moved up a two.
←Rate | 12-24-2017 18:21 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a hipster wearing socks because it’s so cold.
←Rate | 01-02-2018 05:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey here is something I learned and wanted to pass along -- you can donate to the Hurricane Relief fund and not tell anyone.
←Rate | 09-27-2017 00:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon More bad news for Millennials. Hangovers hurt worse the older you get...
←Rate | 08-22-2017 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor thinks I'm paranoid. He didn't say it, but I knew that's what he was thinking
←Rate | 09-16-2017 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won't ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
←Rate | 09-23-2017 23:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The thing that truly makes amusement park rides scary is that you are entrusting your life to a teenager that is earning minimum wage to make sure you are securely fastened into your seat.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 06:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Buying Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, is like paying back for all the free Halloween candy I got when I was a kid.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 14:58 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon my theory: every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
←Rate | 10-12-2017 06:02 by andrewjackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Friday" is an old Indian word that means "Just two more days until Monday."
←Rate | 10-13-2017 06:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dating site for pyromaniacs: Match.com
←Rate | 10-19-2017 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Milestone Alert: This is my 100th Post From a toilet....I'd like to thank the fine people from KFC for making this post possible!
←Rate | 01-20-2018 04:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use my bank account?
←Rate | 02-01-2018 03:52 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Women who say the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach hasn't seen his browser history
←Rate | 02-08-2018 03:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dave came into the bar last night visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much, quit counting them
←Rate | 02-10-2018 08:13 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK. Who is the genius who decided to call it Box Wine and not Cardboardeaux?
←Rate | 02-15-2018 08:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that people who are the loudest about demanding respect are the ones who have done the least to earn it?
←Rate | 09-27-2017 07:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hardest part about watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" at this point is realizing I am one of the wah-wah-wah adults
←Rate | 10-19-2017 23:42 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Even looking at LinkedIn's logo can result in an unsolicited email.
←Rate | 12-05-2017 06:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're in a relationship. I don't know why you feel the need to upload 10 selfies a day. Look at your boyfriend instead of a camera
←Rate | 12-16-2017 06:14 Comments (0)  



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