Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'Mom or Mother': View All Messages
Page: 29 of 33
2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f*ck up"
←Rate |
08-15-2010 12:08
Comments (0)
I just got a text saying... I'm Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good. Umm... you wanna come over?
←Rate |
08-09-2010 00:50
Comments (0)
On our 1st date she wanted to take me to a strip club, but I wasn't ready to meet her mother.
←Rate |
08-07-2010 12:37
Comments (0)
There is only one woman who has truly changed me. It was my mother and I was a baby.
←Rate |
08-04-2010 03:39
Comments (0)
Mother, I would appreciate it if you didn't use scented laundry detergent, I don't feel like walking around smelling like Fresh Mountain Breeze...
←Rate |
07-23-2010 19:58
Comments (0)
made two batches of brownies at a friend's house, one plain and one special. accidentally brought the wrong batch home to my very mormon mother. she's laughing her ass off at george carlin right now
←Rate |
07-22-2010 22:26
Comments (0)
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
←Rate |
07-07-2010 15:55 by PeeWee
Comments (0)
Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.”
←Rate |
07-02-2010 13:48
Comments (0)
a single father of about 4 million kids swimming around fighting to make it to their mother's egg
←Rate |
06-20-2010 23:01 by Danmanz
Comments (0)
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
←Rate |
06-18-2010 13:15 by H.RAYAT
Comments (0)
watching the neighborhood kids play hide and seek. Now I know whose mom is on drugs. I'm guessing its the mother of the kid yelling "Olly Olly Oxycontin!"
←Rate |
06-16-2010 14:51
Comments (0)
My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !
←Rate |
06-14-2010 17:16
Comments (0)
Dear mother nature, now I know that last year when you made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights we had some words. This year if you ruin my summer again I might have to go against all of what I believe and choke a b***h!
←Rate |
06-13-2010 13:55 by Ronnie
Comments (0)
my mother always taught me to lick it before I stick it
←Rate |
06-09-2010 05:12
Comments (0)
filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?
←Rate |
06-08-2010 13:31 by @seddy90
Comments (0)
"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
←Rate |
05-31-2010 04:57 by @rush1oc
Comments (0)
When you first start dating a girl, they say to look at their Mother to see how they'll look as they age. However.....I feel very judgmental when their Mother is practically the same age as I am:)
Nothing is sweeter than finding out that the cute boy who dumped you in the 12th grade lives in his mother's basement.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:04
Comments (0)
The tag "in bed" that makes fortune cookies so funny, makes Mother's Day cards creepy. Just sayin' (uncle Bill!).
Hold your mother today, she was the first to hold you, she held you for 9 months.
[Search Results] [View All Messages]