Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon 2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f*ck up"
←Rate | 08-15-2010 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got a text saying... I'm Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good. Umm... you wanna come over?
←Rate | 08-09-2010 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On our 1st date she wanted to take me to a strip club, but I wasn't ready to meet her mother.
←Rate | 08-07-2010 12:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is only one woman who has truly changed me. It was my mother and I was a baby.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 03:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother, I would appreciate it if you didn't use scented laundry detergent, I don't feel like walking around smelling like Fresh Mountain Breeze...
←Rate | 07-23-2010 19:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon made two batches of brownies at a friend's house, one plain and one special. accidentally brought the wrong batch home to my very mormon mother. she's laughing her ass off at george carlin right now
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 15:55 by PeeWee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.”
←Rate | 07-02-2010 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a single father of about 4 million kids swimming around fighting to make it to their mother's egg
←Rate | 06-20-2010 23:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
←Rate | 06-18-2010 13:15 by H.RAYAT Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching the neighborhood kids play hide and seek. Now I know whose mom is on drugs. I'm guessing its the mother of the kid yelling "Olly Olly Oxycontin!"
←Rate | 06-16-2010 14:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !
←Rate | 06-14-2010 17:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear mother nature, now I know that last year when you made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights we had some words. This year if you ruin my summer again I might have to go against all of what I believe and choke a b***h!
←Rate | 06-13-2010 13:55 by Ronnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon my mother always taught me to lick it before I stick it
←Rate | 06-09-2010 05:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 13:31 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
←Rate | 05-31-2010 04:57 by @rush1oc Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you first start dating a girl, they say to look at their Mother to see how they'll look as they age. However.....I feel very judgmental when their Mother is practically the same age as I am:)
←Rate | 05-12-2010 21:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing is sweeter than finding out that the cute boy who dumped you in the 12th grade lives in his mother's basement.
←Rate | 05-11-2010 21:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The tag "in bed" that makes fortune cookies so funny, makes Mother's Day cards creepy. Just sayin' (uncle Bill!).
←Rate | 05-09-2010 18:00 by @TimSWeber Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hold your mother today, she was the first to hold you, she held you for 9 months.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 12:33 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  




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