Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon For once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
←Rate | 11-22-2017 02:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sleep with a gun under my bed, in case someone breaks in and decides to throw clay pigeons into the air.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You look like the kind of person who replies to a meme with a meme
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you try to show me your family vacation photos I swear I'm going to report you to HR.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:56 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need Google street view in real-time for better stalking...Sorry I mean bird watching.
←Rate | 11-29-2017 13:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even looking at LinkedIn's logo can result in an unsolicited email.
←Rate | 12-05-2017 06:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When one door opens, just hope that it’s the fridge and someone is about to bring you a beer.
←Rate | 12-12-2017 01:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when I come across a couple urging in public but I missed the start and now don't know whose side I'm on.
←Rate | 12-12-2017 01:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should probably return these videos to Blockbuster.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 12:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m sorry my dog nipped your ankles, but in all fairness you do have squirrels on your socks.
←Rate | 01-14-2018 06:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro-tip: sadness is for people who are awake or sober.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 11:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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