Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead.
←Rate | 06-15-2013 16:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is ten times better without condoms. But life is about 10 times better without baby mammas!
←Rate | 06-14-2013 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon "I'm a woman, not a sex object" - said a woman to herself as she put on a push-up bra.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 09:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women I sleep with get so weird when I ask them to sign the guestbook.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't tell if the vegetarians upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 05:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Plan B and pregnancy tests should be sold at the Liquor Store as a 'one stop shop' kinda thing. Save all that judgment for one cashier.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 04:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of my best ideas involve jail time.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 02:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You put the stress in mistress.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 01:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Crocs say I'm always down for a good time but my fanny pack lets you know I'm prepared for anything.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 12:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with the general public is that it's made up of people.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 12:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now I totally understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up!
←Rate | 06-04-2013 01:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cigarettes take 50 years to kill you. I'm more worried about the stuff that does it quickly like sharks, lightning, women or flamethrowers.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 01:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Office crime is real people! I was just held up at PowerPoint.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 14:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks, Michael Douglas, for ruining the ONLY time I'm not worrying about cancer.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 05:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pants are for people with something to hide.
←Rate | 06-02-2013 13:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the worst things that can happen to you is closing a tab by mistake and you don't know which website was it on.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 13:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "No, officer, I wasn't driving with my eyes closed. I'm part-Chinese."
←Rate | 05-31-2013 09:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bottle of wine and I still have feelings. Time for whiskey.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 09:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don't subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: You're not a true vegan unless you tell 10 people every day
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (2)  



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