andrew jackson Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon No offense DiGiorno, but if someone cooks a frozen pizza at home and confuses it with a person delivering a pizza, they might be insane.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 06:27 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon To any babies out there, I'm impressed that you can read this.
←Rate | 04-24-2013 06:22 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
←Rate | 04-23-2013 06:16 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ain't sayin she's a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke white guy who's afraid to finish the rest of this lyric.
←Rate | 04-18-2013 06:18 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know you think saying you need everything "ASAP" makes you seem important, but really it makes you seem like you can't plan.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 05:52 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon And with the official start of baseball season today, the Chicago Cubs have already been eliminated from the playoffs.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 06:35 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got kicked out of the supermarket for comparing apples and oranges. Manager said "you can't do that cause it would be like co..forget it."
←Rate | 03-26-2013 06:36 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That's not lazy, that's proactive.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 05:53 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alanis Morissette sang about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. Question: why do you have 10,000 spoons?
←Rate | 03-21-2013 06:31 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a sheriff in the old west, I'd make some "WANTED" posters that said "NOT INTERESTED" so insecure outlaws would just come to me.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 08:12 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to jail as a teenager and I cried the whole time. Haven’t played Monopoly since.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 06:25 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember, if you're in public and have the winter vomiting bug, be polite and vomit into your elbow.
←Rate | 01-22-2013 10:52 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  



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