Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon No matter how hard life gets just remember there are always people out there who love you, if you pay them enough.
←Rate | 11-28-2013 13:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funniest thing I heard while working in ER.. "What was he doing with his pen*s in a dogs mouth anyway?
←Rate | 11-27-2013 12:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every man with great s tatus you pdates is either a beautiful woman who has inspired him or destroyed him.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 08:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was just sitting here minding my own business and a cold glass of beer just poured itself into my mouth.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 08:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Hell, all of your Google searches post directly to your social media accounts.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 06:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it funny how people throw around inspirational stuff like ‘live your life to the fullest’ after they've spent the entire day on Facebook.
←Rate | 11-26-2013 02:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so hungry I could eat a whole bottle of whiskey
←Rate | 11-24-2013 08:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have designer purses because they need something stylish to carry their crazy in.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 13:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm bored but not "correct people's grammar on Facebook" bored.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 12:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day that I don't die is the best day of my life.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 12:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never cut off the minivans, they have nothing to live for.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 06:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like my date doesn't even care about some of the core problems that faced the software development industry in the mid 90's
←Rate | 11-21-2013 11:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for sex, I would have quit being a grown-up a long time ago.
←Rate | 11-20-2013 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon G.I.R.L on the Internet is 'Guy In Real Life.'
←Rate | 11-19-2013 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so drunk I almost answered my phone.
←Rate | 11-19-2013 11:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money and traditional infidelity are still the top 2 reasons for divorce but Facebook can't be far behind.
←Rate | 11-16-2013 12:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
←Rate | 11-16-2013 11:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a man with a pony tail running down the street so I’m guessing there’s an angry iguana somewhere waiting to be fed its dinner.
←Rate | 11-13-2013 12:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's actually pretty easy to win an argument with a woman when you wait until she's not around to have it.
←Rate | 11-11-2013 13:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think there would be at least one extraterrestrial in a Miss Universe contest.
←Rate | 11-11-2013 08:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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