Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I was wondering why my pants felt so comfortable till I realized they were still in the drawer.
←Rate | 10-03-2013 08:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched a twerk video that made me wish I was Stevie Wonder.
←Rate | 09-28-2013 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fastest way to confuse a woman is to tell her she looks great now that she's gained a couple of pounds.
←Rate | 09-26-2013 15:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would totally be in a relationship right now, but I prefer sex without complications.
←Rate | 09-24-2013 08:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're happy and you know it go away.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My name is Brian but my friends call me when they need a favour.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nicolas Cage must be hibernating. Thank god.
←Rate | 09-12-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
←Rate | 09-08-2013 08:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to spot single girls: If you hit on her and a man beats you, she has a boyfriend. If you hit her and she pepper sprays you, she's single.
←Rate | 09-08-2013 08:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women just don't get it, That men just don't get it.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 12:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Go out there and get your ass kicked by Steven Seagul” - Script for everyone else in a Steven Seagal movie.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag or anything, but my bank balance is over $100k (the k is silent).
←Rate | 08-28-2013 01:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon twerking just shaking your ass? Why did we need a new word? Ass-shaking has served us well for centuries.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you like her, tell her. Don't friendzone yourself. Have some balls. Be a man.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Let me put you in a better mood" - vodka
←Rate | 08-25-2013 12:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if they made a Kindle that doesn't run out of battery? Like, a book.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 01:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes girl you can cook, give great head, have a great sense of fashion, are kind, beautiful, sexy, and have a great smile but can you twerk?
←Rate | 08-19-2013 12:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We used to watch the news to find out the truth. If you're looking for the truth now, the last thing you'd want to watch is the news.
←Rate | 08-18-2013 11:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a Facebook friend deleted and blocked.
←Rate | 08-13-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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