snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   So cold don's toupee flew south for the winter

   One good thing about this winter snow storm, is it makes my lawn look as good as my neighbors.

   Winter storm named Grayson sounds like it should be wearing a tweed jacket

   So irritating that my kid gets a text to tell him school is closed for snow day. He should have to stare at the news channel crawl for 45 minutes like I did

   "We be bobsleddin'." The Winter Olympics Bobsled Team

   Driving a gray car in the winter is putting a lot of faith in your fellow drivers on the road.

   Plan to change the air in your tires soon. Replace that winter air in your tires for best inflation during summer months. Most mechanics will do this for you for free on April 1st.

   Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.

   An apple a day is bull crap.... Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.

   I know winter has started when my neighbor returns my rake, and borrows my snow shovel .

   Oh, the weather outside can bite me. My car won't start to spite me. I can't feel my freakin' toes. Winter blows, Winter blows, Winter blows.

   am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming

   Coldest winter weather in recorded history. In two short years the President has fixed global warming.

   Some of you ladies have more inches of snow outside than your man has in his pants.

   it true atheist children lie down and make snow corpses

   Just got done knockin boots! Alright fine, I just used a broom to brush the snow off of my sandals...

   Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls

   people talk about working on their "summer body" but I've been working on my winter body for years

   people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years

   Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.