Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Complicated, for two please.
←Rate | 06-27-2015 12:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol? Yes. Feelings? No.
←Rate | 06-27-2015 14:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only reason I’m here is to find a trustworthy babysitter.
←Rate | 07-07-2015 02:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coworker: I saw you at Starbucks this morning but didn't say hi Me: Thanks
←Rate | 07-15-2015 13:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know who else says I'M FINE when they are clear not fine? Satan
←Rate | 07-22-2015 13:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How are we supposed to cure cancer when we can't even find a cure for selfies?
←Rate | 08-27-2015 02:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they ever start handing out medals for not participating in anything, that might be my moment to shine.
←Rate | 09-05-2015 13:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you need me, I'd be surprised.
←Rate | 09-20-2015 12:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We've never met or spoken in person, so why should I be offended by your worthless opinion internet stranger?
←Rate | 09-24-2015 10:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever life knocks me down, I just roll over and gaze at the stars!
←Rate | 10-03-2015 15:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you ladies really need more practice hiding your crazy, at least until he marries you.
←Rate | 10-06-2015 13:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Avoiding responsibility one bottle of vodka at a time.
←Rate | 10-20-2015 11:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman told me that I was right today. Did hell finally freeze over?
←Rate | 10-20-2015 11:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For you to insult me, I first have to acknowledge your existence.
←Rate | 10-28-2015 14:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Candy Crush just sold for $6 billion in case anyone is looking for a reason to join ISIS
←Rate | 11-04-2015 01:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You changed your profile picture and I changed my mind.
←Rate | 11-07-2015 01:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not now kids. I'm managing my online empire.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 14:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gf: are you crying right now? Me: *hides Adele's new album* what? hell no. Real men don't cry babe.
←Rate | 11-13-2015 01:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time I believe in luck is when a married man has sex.
←Rate | 11-18-2015 13:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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