huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:02 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow. I have 4 events today, none of which I agreed to go to or expressed any interest in whatsoever. Thanks, Facebook!
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:13 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a pizza guy comes to my door I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him with an empty pizza box then insist that he called me
←Rate | 10-03-2015 09:35 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon 85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the "she" in her story is.
←Rate | 10-16-2015 11:59 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I'm in the shower I have epiphanies of intellectual brilliance. Other times I just think about chips and dip
←Rate | 11-21-2015 07:09 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you come across a stranger in a dark alley immediately hug him so he knows you're not a threat.
←Rate | 01-19-2016 06:03 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
←Rate | 01-23-2016 06:49 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon A curling iron is not effective at turning regular fries into curly fries. I know that now.
←Rate | 02-10-2016 06:45 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many more of these body wraps do I have to eat before I start losing inches?
←Rate | 05-20-2016 18:50 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
←Rate | 06-05-2016 16:00 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you own a body shop and it's not called "Auto Correct", then what's the point?
←Rate | 07-02-2016 07:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may not be the brightest crayon in the tool shed but at least I'm great at analogies.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:25 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog acts pretty tough for someone who's afraid of cotton balls
←Rate | 07-20-2016 19:05 by huck Comments (1)  


   messageicon Time doesn't exist. It's an exclusive construct derived from the primitive human mind. - I tell myself as I set my alarm for 5am
←Rate | 07-24-2016 07:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends
←Rate | 07-24-2016 07:40 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked my dry cleaners if they accepted credit cards and they said yes and then I asked if by chance they accepted declined credit cards.
←Rate | 07-31-2016 07:38 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm ever found dead in the mountains with a pair of hiking sandals on my feet, know that I was murdered & made to wear some dork's shoes.
←Rate | 08-04-2016 07:37 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to think this spider on my windshield during my morning commute is on his way to his own office job, too. I bet he's a web developer.
←Rate | 11-03-2016 05:51 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanksgiving tip #23: Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.
←Rate | 11-15-2016 20:47 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got lost in your eyes...but I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it
←Rate | 12-24-2016 20:57 by huck Comments (0)  




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