hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon To get back at the boss for no Christmas bonus, my goal is to rub my balls on everything in his office by New Years. Luckily I started in June.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 18:31 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I set the voice on my GPS to 'Bon Jovi' it just keeps telling me "We're half way there".
←Rate | 11-27-2011 18:35 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you and your best friend don't have at least one night in your past that you vow to never discuss, you're not best friends.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 18:39 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't base your decisions on the advice of people who don't have to deal with the results.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 18:38 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people can now use pepper spray to get the last piece of junk at Walmart, then I'm going to start using it for unwanted meeting requests.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 18:38 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mind and my body are starting to strongly disagree about how old I am.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:40 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never see the GEICO Gecko driving a car in any of those commercials. I find that suspicious..
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:36 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money doesn't buy you happiness is just a saying rich people made up to prevent poor people from wanting to rob them.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:32 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If friends could be bought at the store, I'd have gotten a good deal on mine, because those “slightly irregular” bins are always discounted
←Rate | 10-23-2011 10:20 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a Kardashian, I would be Kikoo the developmentally disabled one who lives in the pool house and makes designer drool bibs.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 10:03 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out "Groupons" are just coupons for Grey Poupon. If you try to redeem them for anything else at Walmart you will be arrested.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 17:23 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone says, "I think of you as family," I assume they're gonna scream at me for something that happened 15 years ago.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 19:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a ghost on "Ghost Whisperer" the first thing I would ask Jennifer Love Hewitt is "are those real?".
←Rate | 10-09-2011 08:23 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 20:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got life alert just in case I ever get a life.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 04:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so gangster, I don't even send an error report to Microsoft when Internet Explorer unexpectedly quits. Snitches get Stitches.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 11:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember, they're laughing with you, not at you. They're only pointing at you so you know who they're laughing with.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 19:54 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got fired from SuperCuts for suggesting we change our name to 'Shut the hell up. You're at the Mall. What did you Expect?''
←Rate | 09-19-2011 19:21 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if one day somebody will ever come and knock on my door and tell me “Hey we have 7 mutual friends in facebook", Can I come in?
←Rate | 09-18-2011 10:10 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  




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