psycho Funny Status Messages

   TERRORISM - This is what happens when you indoctrinate people with fairy tales that have no basis in reality.

   In hell, you're served sugar free jam on burnt gluten free toast with decaf coffee.

   I think we should hear other voices.

   a wheelchair is just grocery cart to a cannibal

   I think this midget prostitute is really selling herself short.

   If Bruce Jenner can win woman of the year, I see no reason why Sarah Jessica Parker can't win the Kentucky Derby.

   Starting my weekend off right with a simmering rage. It's a beautiful day for violence!

   Looking for originality her e is like looking for a virgin in a wh0rehouse.

   I bet if I flashed my hand grenade this guy would let me merge

   A serial killer, that only targets couples in matching outfits.

   The genie that I rubbed to get my three wishes was not a genie at all. Anyone got bail money?

   Welcome to Chopped. Your mystery basket ingredients are four of your exes, from which you must create one decent human being.

   If it wasn't for my excitement to hate someone new I wouldn't leave my bed in the morning.

   I don't have any room in my heart for you, but I do have space for you in my trunk.

   *Taps life on shoulder* What's your fcukin problem with me?

   Its safe to visit my FB page friends. That smell is now gone.

   According to my bloodshot eyes I'm not approachable today

   My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat

   Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough

   I think the hands of time have been molesting me.