The FRED Funny Status Messages

   When I am king, you will be first against the wall, With your opinion which is of no consequence at all.

   sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.

   THERE IS A VIRUS SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE ON FB. DO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS THAT ASK YOU TO PLAY FARMVILLE. SNOPES JUST CONFIRMED IT WILL CONTROL YOUR LIFE & TURN YOU INTO A LOSER. PLEASE REPOST THIS IN YOUR STATUS.

   I think the sudden stardom of Justin Bieber marks the beginning of the apocalypse.

   Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

   Duct tape - $3.79, Shovel - $29.99, 50 lb. bag of lime - $14.99, Life without you - PRICELESS.

   I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

   Hell is Where: the Police are German, the Chefs are British, the Mechanics are French, the Lovers are Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians.

   Heaven is Where: the Police are British, the Chefs are Italian, the Mechanics are German, the Lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss.

   Tomorrow, I'm gonna write a blog post about procrastination.

   I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that, cuz I'm modest.

   When a Blind dude & his dog go for a joyride, who dirves?

   became a fan of not becoming a fan of everything on facebook.

   I used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!

   Don't be sad, don't be blue, frankenstein was ugly too!

   thinks cocaine is a good way of telling you that you make too much money.

   might be addicted to eBay considering he just spent 6 hours trying to burn the face of Jesus into his toast.

   going bar hoping with Tiger Woods & Ben Roethlisberger.

   Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.

   The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back.