Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon There are two types of people in the world. Please stay away from both of them.
←Rate | 10-28-2017 07:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get all the cardio I need by digging my own grave.
←Rate | 10-25-2017 15:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I wanted human interaction i'd take my headphones off during this date.
←Rate | 10-25-2017 15:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I graduated at the top of my anger management class
←Rate | 10-25-2017 02:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please pray for all the people at my last job. They're fine but they still work there
←Rate | 10-25-2017 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The fatter the man, the more Hawaiian the shirt.
←Rate | 10-22-2017 06:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't tell me what to do; you're not my demons.
←Rate | 09-18-2017 01:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
←Rate | 09-10-2017 04:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could match my dog's excitement to go outside.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me
←Rate | 08-16-2017 14:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Game of Thrones, at its core, has always been a show about how much it sucks to be a horse
←Rate | 08-07-2017 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm we had to wait 3 years for a new movie to be released on VHS years old.
←Rate | 08-06-2017 14:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my cat is a Scientologist.
←Rate | 08-06-2017 13:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies are participation trophies for men.
←Rate | 08-05-2017 11:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's either you wear crocs or you have a sex life. Can't have both.
←Rate | 08-01-2017 13:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just keep telling myself you guys don't have sex either.
←Rate | 06-06-2017 02:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My diet can be best described as carb loading for a marathon I'll never run.
←Rate | 05-29-2017 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.
←Rate | 05-06-2017 10:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I fell and hit my head really hard maybe I'll go see the new Baywatch movie.
←Rate | 04-30-2017 12:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
←Rate | 02-12-2017 08:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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