Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Kisstopher707': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 25

   messageicon I'm we had to wait 3 years for a new movie to be released on VHS years old.
←Rate | 08-06-2017 14:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my cat is a Scientologist.
←Rate | 08-06-2017 13:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies are participation trophies for men.
←Rate | 08-05-2017 11:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's either you wear crocs or you have a sex life. Can't have both.
←Rate | 08-01-2017 13:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just keep telling myself you guys don't have sex either.
←Rate | 06-06-2017 02:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My diet can be best described as carb loading for a marathon I'll never run.
←Rate | 05-29-2017 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.
←Rate | 05-06-2017 10:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I fell and hit my head really hard maybe I'll go see the new Baywatch movie.
←Rate | 04-30-2017 12:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
←Rate | 02-12-2017 08:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
←Rate | 02-02-2017 11:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your Facebook posts are like your children. Some go on to become successful and others make you look stupid.
←Rate | 01-18-2017 12:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give people who call with a private number a dose of their own medicine by knocking on their doors while wearing a mask.
←Rate | 01-13-2017 02:56 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
←Rate | 01-10-2017 08:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I suggest we eat pizza and someone says something stupid like "No, I had pizza yesterday," I just nod like I understand, but inside my head I have murdered the person a thousand times.
←Rate | 01-04-2017 08:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes I'm a people person. Or as the authorities like to call me, human trafficker.
←Rate | 12-20-2016 03:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I envy in women is their ability to argue without any valid points whatsoever and still claim victory.
←Rate | 11-28-2016 00:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At this rate, it's starting to seem like Americans will be voting on which candidate to keep out of jail in November.
←Rate | 10-09-2016 01:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon showering together is cute until you realise women are trying to be 3rd degree burn patients and you’re just trying to get clean.
←Rate | 09-12-2016 15:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell nah I’m not clicking on page two of any article online. It’s online. Your stupid story should fit one webpage however long it is.
←Rate | 09-06-2016 01:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Threatening Americans by saying there'll be "a taco truck on every corner" is like threatening The Kardashians' with more magazine covers.
←Rate | 09-02-2016 13:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left