BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Never give up on something you really want. It’s difficult to wait, but it’s more difficult to regret.

   I think I'm gonna start giving ugly girls the phone numbers of guys I hate.

   Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met? “Well, it all started one day when your dad ‘liked’ one of my selfies.”

   Holy s$it Karma, how much longer till we’re all squared up?

   I have gotten out of bed 365 days a year for 37 years. That is 13,505 sit-ups. And not ONE ab to show for it.

   Friend: Do you want to go to a strip club? Me: Maybe. Do they have Wi-Fi?

   Marriage is hard. Marriage is so hard Nelson Mandela got divorced. He spend 27 years in south african prison getting tortured and beaten everyday for 27 years straight. He got out of jail, was 6 months with wife, and said "i cant take this s#it"

   Behind every beautiful girl is the ugly relationship that made her scared to love again

   Summer is almost over... All you half naked bit$hes gonna have to find a personality soon.

   I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name

   I sprayed a spider with axe body spray to kill it but now its name is chad and he is f$cking all the girl spiders in my house.

   Best Relationship: Talk like best-friends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister.

   Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.

   I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won’t have to talk to them.

   Don’t you wish karma was like pizza and could be delivered in under 30 minutes?

   Girls with tattoos on your boobs, Why? We’re already looking at them.

   Guys, hear me out on this one.. A zombie outbreak could be prevented altogether if people were buried with their shoe laces tied together. Boom, you’re welcome.

   You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.

   So thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside. Instead of apps and how many likes you can get on a selfie.

   Beginning of relationship- 1) Don’t ever change. 2) You have to change. 3) You’ve changed. -End of relationship-