me Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon im gassy while watching the news... imma go occupy the toilet
←Rate | 11-30-2011 12:26 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've finally figured out why they're called 'payslips'.... the 'pay' just 'slips' right through your fingers!!! :(
←Rate | 11-10-2011 18:17 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon Catholic." ... ... ... He says, "Yes, I'm single & Catholic!" The nun kisses the driver then asks why he is crying. I lied. I must confess I'm married & I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin & I'm going to a Halloween party!"
←Rate | 09-24-2011 20:04 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the big deal about the Facebook changes? This is a free social media site you chose to use. Get over it or don't use it....seems simple to me
←Rate | 09-23-2011 07:10 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon told my girlfriend .. "if you ever want to try anal sex, I'll be behind you all the way"!!
←Rate | 09-04-2011 08:02 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you saw my new boyfriend and ask me what happened to my standards? Well duh .. I raised them!!!
←Rate | 08-31-2011 19:35 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am a member of NSS( National Sarcastic Society).Our motto:"Like we Need your approval"
←Rate | 08-22-2011 05:14 by Me Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes my LOL just means, Lack-Of-Laughter
←Rate | 08-21-2011 16:50 by Me Comments (0)  


   messageicon seeing all these profile pics of old men in honor of Father's Day is giving me the creeps. My wall looks more like a list of sex offenders..
←Rate | 06-18-2011 13:25 by me Comments (1)  


   messageicon I disagree... It's going to be a Great Friday!
←Rate | 04-22-2011 09:44 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow I slept like an air traffic controller last night.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 14:43 by Me Comments (0)  


   messageicon AT&T and T-Mobile are getting married, There will be no reception.
←Rate | 03-22-2011 09:26 by Me Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whats the differentce between A Jersey girl and a piece of trash? People pick up trash.
←Rate | 01-21-2011 14:57 by ME Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music of the internet.
←Rate | 01-06-2011 13:33 by Me Comments (0)  


   messageicon RODEO SEX: while having sex call her the wrong name and try to hold on for 8 seconds
←Rate | 12-19-2010 15:30 by Me Comments (6)  


   messageicon An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
←Rate | 12-17-2010 22:37 by Me Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Porn Actor Kills Colleague With Prop Weapon." It was apparently not a banana in his pocket, nor was he happy to see him.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 17:03 by me Comments (1)  


   messageicon Every time I see Renee Zellweger on screen I want to hand her an antihistamine.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 16:58 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just invented a new candy called Mike and Ike and Tina. When you eat 'em, your front teeth fall out
←Rate | 09-28-2010 16:57 by me Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got an enema in honor of National Punctuation Day. I now have a perfect colon.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 13:03 by me Comments (0)  




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