jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's 2018 so that means the millennium is legal.
←Rate | 01-04-2018 05:49 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon On new year's eve while counting down the last 10 seconds, I lift my left leg so I'll start the new year out on the right foot.
←Rate | 01-02-2018 04:10 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon So cold don's toupee flew south for the winter
←Rate | 01-02-2018 03:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon So cold in D.C. today that the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
←Rate | 01-02-2018 03:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was so cold that when we milk the cows we got ice cream.
←Rate | 01-02-2018 03:03 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold out that I saw a dog frozen to a fire hydrant
←Rate | 01-02-2018 02:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heard there was a kidnapping at the school. Untill the teacher woke him up.
←Rate | 01-02-2018 01:41 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were born in september. There a good chance your parents started the new year with a bang.
←Rate | 12-31-2017 23:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a study done on the effects alcohol has on walking. The results were staggering.
←Rate | 12-31-2017 23:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cooking is so good even my smoke alarm comments on it.
←Rate | 12-28-2017 23:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did cavemen meet women? They went clubbing.
←Rate | 12-27-2017 18:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since the 2nd amendment gives me the right to bear arms. I cut the sleeves off all of my shirts.
←Rate | 12-17-2017 00:50 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon By useing earbuds it gave me alot of practice to un-tangling a string of Christmas lights
←Rate | 12-04-2017 21:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Claustrophobic : A person afraid of Santa Claus
←Rate | 11-26-2017 07:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa Claus is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 23:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you could cross a centipede with a turkey you would have enough turkey legs for everyone.
←Rate | 11-21-2017 07:44 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's better to be kissed by a fool than be fooled by a kiss
←Rate | 11-19-2017 16:53 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the people I come in contact with daily could read my mind I'd get punch in the face alot.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 23:58 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it when I misplace my cell phone it set on silent
←Rate | 11-09-2017 21:39 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that laughter is the best medicine. But if you're laughing for no reason, you need medicien.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 16:48 by Jake Comments (0)  



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