hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Tonight I'm playing hard to get off the sofa.
←Rate | 04-19-2013 06:13 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When picking a song to represent your relationship, go for something obscure in case you ever break up. Mine is the National Anthem of Peru.
←Rate | 04-19-2013 06:13 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Speed remake idea: In this version you can't EXCEED 30mph, Keanu is an old Asian lady, the bus is the car ahead of me, and it's not a movie.
←Rate | 04-19-2013 06:12 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is uncertain which is why every morning, before I leave for work, I hug my kids and whisper "avenge me.."
←Rate | 04-19-2013 06:12 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
←Rate | 04-19-2013 06:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I knew more Spanish. This beautiful Hispanic girl just hit on me and I replied, "Me llamo es Dora. Let's go exploring!"
←Rate | 04-19-2013 06:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by “Hold” you mean take a moment to reflect on your poor customer service and how I should take my business elsewhere? Then yes, I’ll hold.
←Rate | 04-17-2013 12:12 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only difference between Mcdonald's and my work is Mcdonald's has only got one clown running the show..
←Rate | 04-17-2013 12:12 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian is reportedly overeating while pregnant to secure a lucrative weight loss deal. Didn't her sex tape already prove she'll put anything in her mouth to make money?
←Rate | 04-17-2013 12:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are men in this world who have killed sharks with their bare hands. I can't even touch a picture of a bug in a book.
←Rate | 04-17-2013 12:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is like working out it hurts really bad until you just give up and eat a cake.
←Rate | 04-17-2013 12:06 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why we just don't take a bunch of nukes and level the middle east and those towel heads once and for all
←Rate | 04-15-2013 16:54 by hihuggiehi Comments (4)  


   messageicon I don't know if It's considerate or Ironic that McDonald's wraps their hamburgers in toilet paper
←Rate | 04-06-2013 15:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wasn't able to sell our kitchen table on Craigslist, but we did get invited to 3 orgies and a donkey show
←Rate | 04-06-2013 15:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spent most of my childhood terrified that the rhythm was going to get me.
←Rate | 04-06-2013 14:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (1)  


   messageicon I bought a smart phone today. And it came with unlimited 'Staring at your phone to avoid contact with other people' minutes.
←Rate | 04-06-2013 14:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just turned my keyboard upside down and shook it over my desk and now I don't have to go grocery shopping for at least two weeks.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:25 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon facebook should have an "I've seen enough" button.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:24 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:24 by hihuggiehi Comments (1)  


   messageicon After 4 crappy cruises,Carnival Cruise Lines should just change their slogan to "Still better than the Titanic!!!"
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:23 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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