greg2missy Funny Status Messages

   Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.....With a Hot Blonde and Winning Lottery Ticket!!.....DAMN!!! Didn't work again.....

   With the fuel prices as high as they are, I'm going to be BAD this year and hope Santa brings me COAL!!!

   I always thought visiting Egypt would be fun. Now I hear it's a RIOT!!

   Black History Month reminded me that Peanut Butter was invented by a black guy...I Assume "Chunky" was in reference to his White Girlfriend...

   Am I the only one that flips back and forth like a little kid when I discover 2 radio stations playing the same song?

   Today I told my car it's okay for it to tell me if it's a transformer. It didn't answer. I figure it's just waiting for the right moment.

   I was suppose to let you all know the Procrastinators Club will meet last Thursday......

   Apparently there's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

   Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

   The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

   Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

   I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

   From now on I'm boycotting Shampoo....I demand REALPoo!!!!

   I'm always hearing stories of people posting "Inappropriate" pics on Facebook....Why are none of YOU showing me nude pics my friends????

   Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that's what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)

   2 words have opened alot of doors for me....Push and Pull....

   OK...I have 20 Bowls and 20 Lids...Not NONE of the dang things match!!

   I heard there was a perfect woman at every corner of the world....Unfortunately, the world is ROUND!!!!

   Hoping my dead grandma isn't watching EVERYTHING I do.....She would be pretty dissapointed in me!!

   Ya think Vampires eat Tampons like Cotton Candy????