ff1241 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Women + yoga pants = WIN!
←Rate | 04-09-2012 18:42 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My tourette syndrome in under control untill I have to deal with DUMB A$S! stupid people who lack basic MOTHER FUNK1NG! common sense. SH1T! B1TCH!
←Rate | 04-03-2012 23:55 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A few of you are upset with me for not removing my facial hair. Not sure why because your not the ones kissing me on the lips. But I am willing to make a compromise. So I will be removing some hair on my right a$$ cheek just in case.
←Rate | 04-02-2012 18:48 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention all crackheads,and homeless people.... it is a very bad time to ask me if I have any "spare change" when I'm pumping $4.39 a gallon gas into my car.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 16:25 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The one person you would take a bullet for is usually the one behind the gun.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 21:20 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With the larger amount of stupid people I get to deal with on a daily basis, I thought lobotomies came back in style .
←Rate | 03-26-2012 03:03 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are worth holding on to. Some people are worth letting go. Most people are just a waste of space.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 01:12 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time for naughty dreams! Hope to see a few of you there.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 04:13 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I just want to tell someone "You should play catch with lawn darts."
←Rate | 03-02-2012 02:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When starting an IV on a patient do NOT refer to the big IV needles as lawn darts.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 21:04 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roundabouts and retarded people are like round holes and square pegs, you can force them together, but it isn't going to be pretty.
←Rate | 02-25-2012 05:01 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That time after the break up when your driving and the only radio stations you are left with are talk radio and mexican polka.
←Rate | 01-20-2012 21:41 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people complain about how broke/poor they are sitting at the bar drinking beer and smoking cigarettes?
←Rate | 01-13-2012 16:13 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First big snow fall of the season and the TV news is acting like the terrorism threat levels just moved up a spot or two.
←Rate | 01-11-2012 13:06 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to get a santa suit and walk into the strip club to see what the girls will to do santa to get off the naughty list.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 22:38 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm smiling on the outside because I have a rainbow of pills on the inside.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 14:05 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids are more fun when you can give them back.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 21:54 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what I did at work before I had and I-phone and Facebook.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:52 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies! I may not have the pen!s of a black man but I do have the toung of a lesbi@n.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 14:47 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you call yourself an adult but I bet you can't sleep with the closet door open just a little bit because you think someone might be looking at you like the boogieman.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 02:36 by ff1241 Comments (0)  



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