SlowMotionNinja Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon well America looks like you can kill little girls and get away with it these days...Who wants to track down Bieber with me?
←Rate | 07-13-2011 11:24 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever you feel powerless, remember that just one single turd of yours can shut down an entire waterpark
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:27 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon The kids down the street have challenged me to a water fight...I'm just updating my status whilst I wait for the kettle to boil
←Rate | 07-11-2011 08:46 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant girl all have in common? In each scenario there is a DUMBASS who did not take it out in time
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:12 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two kit-kats fall out of a vending machine at once
←Rate | 06-25-2011 22:31 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went to Hulu this morning. Front page: The Royal Wedding brought to you by Fancy Fest. God That's perfect
←Rate | 04-29-2011 21:36 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon come on playstation network you were hacked and have been down for 5 days, learn from Jesus, he was crucified and only down for 3 day
←Rate | 04-28-2011 23:38 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I almost choked to death while trying to rap in the car on the way to work. Chewing gum and Wu-Tang clan ain't nothin' to f**k with.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 23:43 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon ❒Flossin' ❒Ballin' ✔Bill Gaten'
←Rate | 04-13-2011 13:18 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon put a number on it by looking up the route on a fare-finding site….So it would've cost Will Smith about $8,356.96 to get from West Philly to Bel-Air!! Dang Uncle Phil was really loaded then!!!
←Rate | 04-11-2011 23:21 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your vigina is anything like my hand then we should not have a problem
←Rate | 04-10-2011 00:56 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon when a stripper asks you to beat the hard level on angry birds you DO IT!!!!!
←Rate | 04-02-2011 22:35 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon pulled more tail then a slow kid at a petting zoo.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 22:13 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a girlfriend is like racking up credit card debit. Exciting for awhile, before becoming a financial burden that prevents you from enjoying cool activities with your friends
←Rate | 03-24-2011 11:58 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moms have "mothers day" Dads have "Fathers day" Lovers have "Valentines day" what do single men have?...Palm Sunday
←Rate | 03-23-2011 10:53 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to a disco last night. They played the twist, I did the twist, They played jump, I jumped. They played "come on Eileen"...I got kicked out for that one.
←Rate | 03-21-2011 20:40 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Why is it that if a girl has sex with more than one guy she's a slut but if a guy has sex with more than one girl he's a legend?" The guy replies "If a lock can be opened by more than one key it's useless but if a key can open many locks its a master key
←Rate | 03-18-2011 21:51 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone's self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse
←Rate | 03-04-2011 22:20 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Random Dude: "Sup bro you think you could piss in this cup in that bathroom for me I gotta pass this drug test. I'll pay you $60" Me: "...ya..." That dudes screwed
←Rate | 02-28-2011 23:36 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear when LeBron James was born and the doctor spanked him he got the foul called
←Rate | 02-27-2011 21:20 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  




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