Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages

   Romance works because ladies love dumb stuff and they are easily swayed by meaningless gestures. That's why all dudes have the same technique. It's called lying.

   Nothing is better than a woman getting in touch with herself. Especially if she lets me watch.

   Jaywalking sounds like a stupid made up crime so I treat it like one. If you think I am walking an extra block to cross the street, you are out of your mind.

   his relationship status set to "It's Complicated" simply because he can't decide on which hand to use.

   Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.

   prepared to kiss you whether you are Irish or not.

   came down with an incredibly bad case of Leprechaunorrhea last year so he is going to behave himself today!!!

   Cheating is always worse when a woman does it because she has experience turning down sex. When she cheats, it is premeditated cheating; when a guy cheats, it is just cheating.

   If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.

   believes hunting is totally wrong unless you are hunting cougars.

   The problem with love is that though we get to chose who we love, we don't get to chose who loves us back.

   If you don't have anything nice to say, feel free to come sit with me and we can make fun of people together.

   knows a relationship is going well when she feels comfortable taking a crap at his place.

   if you go through life with your head in the sand all people will see is an ass!

   hates when the microwave decides to heat his plate, but not his food.

   gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.

   has discovered that telling a girl you don't have any sores isn't the best way to get her to kiss you.

   you know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.

   being lazier right now than the guy who designed the Japanese flag.

   so broke right now, he has been using used tissues as toilet paper...and sometimes vice versa.