Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail... Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn’t be done over text.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I liked a pic of you and your man, it doesn't mean I'm mature... It means holla at me if he acting up.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get a girl I'm gonna show her off. Guys who think being sweet to their girl is lame have that childish mindstate.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't grab your girls booty at least 46 times a day, you're living life all wrong.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When girls are mad at you, there's a typo in every word 'cuz they texting so fast.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most women don't even need to workout. Y'all burn enough calories jumping to conclusions.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you just gotta text your ex and remind them they ain't sh*t... Just in case they forgot.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say 'Netflix & Chill' sometimes I mean that. Stop kissin' my neck and watch this serial killer documentary with me or get the tf out.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever see your girl smiling at her phone, she probably laughing at my posts and picturing our life together after she leaves you.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon From now on, if we text longer than a week, we better fall in love. If not, you paying my phone bill for wasting my unlimited texts.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't text me after 11 pm unless you're offering me sex or bringing me food.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you gotta look thru someone's phone, you shouldn't be with 'em. Quit being insecure, that sh*t is unattractive.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Winter is coming. Women about to steal your heart and your hoodie.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If 90's R&B comes on in the bedroom, we making a baby. I don't care.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care if you catch me creeping your page. I'll like 74 of your posts in a row, what you gonna do about it.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do we only crave what's bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I'd kill for some salad."
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon We just got a fax at work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What idiot called it "leaving right after sex" and not "nuts and bolts" ?
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calm your tit. Just one tit. Leave your other one crazy and out of control. That's your party tit.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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