MG Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sorry, I've just been taken by surprise, am not sure when he'll bring me back.
←Rate | 04-01-2010 08:10 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing tears a family apart like pack of wild dogs.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 12:00 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 10:38 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you.
←Rate | 03-19-2010 13:18 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
←Rate | 03-17-2010 10:54 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a fight with the wife and didn't see her for three days... Then the swelling went down and I could see her out of one eye
←Rate | 03-17-2010 07:28 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was?
←Rate | 03-16-2010 10:35 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face
←Rate | 03-15-2010 15:32 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon   Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!!!
←Rate | 03-14-2010 21:05 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
←Rate | 03-06-2010 17:11 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: “Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?” To which the farmer replied: “Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!”
←Rate | 03-06-2010 06:16 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wake up GRUMPY; other times I let her sleep.
←Rate | 03-06-2010 05:47 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon DNA: National Dyslexic Association
←Rate | 03-06-2010 05:46 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon believes the difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:07 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon living the dream, one nightmare at a time.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:01 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 11:56 by MG Comments (1)  


   messageicon Acute Gout Attack!! - The Vegetarian's Revenge!
←Rate | 02-27-2010 03:54 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between a sin and shame; It is a sin to put it in; It is a shame to pull it out!
←Rate | 02-26-2010 06:02 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, I couldn't find any!
←Rate | 02-25-2010 09:19 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon REMEMBER IN FAT AND SLIM: F - STANDS FOR FOOD AND S - FOR STARVATION
←Rate | 02-25-2010 08:16 by MG Comments (1)  




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