Joker Funny Status Messages

   How long do you have to be ignorant before you start experiencing bliss ?

   I started a support group for men with erectile dysfuntion. It was a flop and nobody came.

   You can tell the sex of an ant by tossing it in some water. If it sinks, it' a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant.

   The cemeteery has raised its burial cost. They're blaming the cost of living.

   They say one in a group of ten men is a ferry. So I think it's my buddy Steve in my group of friends..... He's really cute.

   The best way to smuggle drugs across the border is to place them up a dogs butt. That way when the drug sniffing dog investigates, the officer will think that the dog is just being friendly.

   Went for a check up, everything was normal, except the doctor stuck is finger up my butt...... I need to get a new dentist.

   I may need a helping hand with my New Year's resolution in giving up masterbating.

   A good husband remembers his wife's birthday, but not her age.

   If a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.50 a minute.

   My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.

   I haven't failed, I just found several ways it won't work.

   Make sure to put the letter "L" in the world clocks when you google grandfather clocks.

   I'm determind to stay out of debt this new year. Even if I have to borrow the money to do so.

   The difference between curry and a candle. A candle only burns at one end.

   Bad part about being a bomb disposal technician..... It takes me 6 hours to open my Christmas presents.

   "Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

   Three things I'm grateful for, 1. Family 2. Friends 3. Caller ID to advoid family and friends.

   My grandfather use to say "Don't believe everything you hear." which was good advice...... Or was it ?

   I had fifty bucks tattooed on my "member". So the next time my wife wants to go out and blow fifty bucks, she can stay home and do it.