Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   If you lost your iphone last night please let me know. Because I need that charger too

   Someone said to me "I can never think of anything important or interesting to say on Facebook." I told them not to worry"

   When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

   One day there's gonna be a huge memorial dedicated to the people who sacrificed their lives to sit at a computer for the majority of their existence

   My girlfriend is so dumb. It's just me and her alone in the living room and she turns around and says "who's farted"

   My life is like a romantic comedy expect there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes

   If she gets up and goes and makes you a sandwich after sex. You're not doing it right

   being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible

   Even though Halloween is meant to be about dressing up as scary evil monsters, people still complain if you go as Hitler

   We have to stop this recent culture of people telling us they're offended and expecting us to give a f**k.

   Don't feel bad if you don't enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That's what matters.

   I swear girls these days. Some of them wake up with a higher sperm count than the men

   My girlfrand said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on. I don't get women.

   I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without sex and alcohol and the other 50% happy.

   Don't let anyone with bad eyebrows give you advice about life

   Kate is officially a milf

   Condoms aren't safe at all. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

   Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to "Unstable"

   Girls that text "kk" instead of "ok" are only like 3 bananas away from burning a cross in somebody's front yard

   When I was your age I was raising Pokemon, not babies