Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
←Rate | 01-23-2016 06:49 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you come across a stranger in a dark alley immediately hug him so he knows you're not a threat.
←Rate | 01-19-2016 06:03 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I'm in the shower I have epiphanies of intellectual brilliance. Other times I just think about chips and dip
←Rate | 11-21-2015 07:09 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon 85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the "she" in her story is.
←Rate | 10-16-2015 11:59 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a pizza guy comes to my door I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him with an empty pizza box then insist that he called me
←Rate | 10-03-2015 09:35 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow. I have 4 events today, none of which I agreed to go to or expressed any interest in whatsoever. Thanks, Facebook!
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:13 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:02 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
←Rate | 09-04-2015 15:59 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you look closely at my 13.1 sticker, you can see a tiny asterisk leading to another sticker that says " *ft."
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:50 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretty sure you could "pull life support" from me just by turning off the a/c
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:36 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are really judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:24 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:12 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I honestly think my dog feels almost no remorse at how messy she makes my house.
←Rate | 07-14-2015 22:09 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see a suggestion box, I put in, "Get rid of suggestion box."
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:51 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do I have to do to get out of work early? Will faking my death be sufficient? Because I'm totally up for that.
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:48 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you expect me to answer an actual phone call you're gonna have to give me at least 3 days warning
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:29 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4:43am Neighborhood Watch Report: my neighbor gets a super creepy look on his face when he's sleeping.
←Rate | 06-20-2015 17:36 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who have a meme for every Facebook comment scare me more than serial killers.
←Rate | 06-20-2015 17:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kind of unfair that dentists are the only ones who have the freedom to shove their hand in someone's mouth when they start talking.
←Rate | 06-20-2015 17:01 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm am ever wronged, I expect you to avenge me. So be ready.
←Rate | 06-20-2015 16:58 by huck Comments (0)  



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