Eddy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon i find it ironic that when you go to the usps website to complain, they tell you to email them
←Rate | 09-07-2021 19:50 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can;t afford the "Ring" doorbell so I use "honk" where friends pull up & honk their horn
←Rate | 08-17-2021 20:08 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon what does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the restroom? ....the pee is silent
←Rate | 08-17-2021 20:01 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon foods contain ingredients such as iron, potassium, calcium, etc so I'm going to start calling my dinner table my "table of elements"
←Rate | 07-13-2021 22:27 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon idk why people get paranoid about getting a chip put in them someday. ...lays & pringles have been putting chips in me for years
←Rate | 05-16-2021 14:01 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if "octo" means 8, why is October the 10th month?
←Rate | 01-24-2021 06:02 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't food companies put beets in boxes instead of cans? ...then the employees can say they're "professional beet boxers"
←Rate | 01-24-2021 05:01 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon today I'll be celebrating MLK day...I'm going to sleep in late & have a dream
←Rate | 01-18-2021 04:57 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon with school starting back tomorrow, don't forget to thank the bus driver #Fortnite
←Rate | 09-07-2020 19:11 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at a restaurant tonight & I saw the "caution wet floor" sign. I wonder how blind people know. those signs don't have braille
←Rate | 08-16-2020 00:14 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is wearing masks & school starts back soon....the teachers are gonna sound like Charlie Brown's teacher....wah wah wah
←Rate | 08-05-2020 18:21 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon did you know that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick?.... It crumbles easily & makes her breath smell. she explained "the super color fragil lipstick crumbles easily & gives me halitosis"
←Rate | 08-01-2020 15:35 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if this 2nd stimulus goes through, I want this payment in pennies so I can swim in it like Scrooge McDuck
←Rate | 07-28-2020 00:23 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see all these zoom video chat conferences, I think of the opening scene of "The Brady Bunch"
←Rate | 04-15-2020 15:47 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coronavirus is like a Thanos you can't see
←Rate | 04-07-2020 08:14 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been social distancing from the gym for years
←Rate | 04-07-2020 08:09 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lets send the coronavirus tiger to Carole Baskin
←Rate | 04-06-2020 20:15 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend is terrible at geography...his grade is below C level
←Rate | 04-01-2020 22:25 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon since camping spoons are white, are they still considered "silverware" or should they be called "whiteware" ?
←Rate | 03-07-2020 23:49 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon what do you call it when a cow is sitting down? ... ground beef
←Rate | 02-23-2020 16:39 by Eddy Comments (0)  




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