Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The new twenty dollar bill will feature a clever line drawing of Harriet Tubman using the men's room.
←Rate | 04-23-2016 21:12 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing better than imagining "Tubman's" raining down on strippers cheeks.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 14:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My "Stop Being Poor" shirt almost ended up in the Goodwill pile.
←Rate | 03-30-2016 12:34 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jiggling fat is a little more fun when you imagine a dubstep noise coming out of it.
←Rate | 03-12-2016 10:10 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be my own worst enemy but there is a hell of a lot of competition out there vying to unseat me.
←Rate | 03-09-2016 12:08 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know they didn't ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
←Rate | 03-09-2016 12:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've spent more than ten seconds fondling and sniffing a fruit or vegetable you need to buy it otherwise it's disrespectful
←Rate | 09-30-2015 05:48 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon it too late to say hakuna matata to that lion?
←Rate | 08-01-2015 10:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by handyman you mean someone with a nice collection of wrenches that came with unassembled furniture then yes, I'm a handyman...
←Rate | 07-20-2015 23:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Grapes of Wrath is my favorite book title talking about a Woman drinking wine and angrily planning on burning your house to the ground.
←Rate | 07-20-2015 23:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm "All the kids were free-range kids" years old.
←Rate | 07-20-2015 23:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im acraid that I nade a maitake turning off autocorrd t
←Rate | 07-20-2015 22:34 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should be with your best friend. If you can't send them hilarious pictures of your poop, it's just not going to work out.
←Rate | 07-03-2015 20:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone know how to change the difficulty setting on getting the sex?
←Rate | 05-31-2015 19:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you dont understand big words, I can euthanize with you.
←Rate | 01-06-2015 15:24 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if...lollipops moaned every time we licked them
←Rate | 12-21-2014 21:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dr. King's dream of murdering Asian and Latino cops is really coming to fruition.
←Rate | 12-21-2014 21:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until its too late for em to back out
←Rate | 12-21-2014 21:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING: Kazakhstan threatens retaliation over release of BORAT.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 21:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
←Rate | 12-16-2014 06:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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