samdave69 Funny Status Messages

   wants a holiday that somehow follows closely to the 1966 movie: The Endless Summer...... any volunteers?

   doesn't have a beer belly. What I have is a fuel tank for a sex machine......

   just realized life hasn't changed much. 15years ago on Sunday night I was wishing I was grown up and had a job. Today night I'm up wishing I was in school.......

   used to be an aethist. Then I found out I am God....

   thinks life is unfair. So many rules; so little time to break them....

   ever realize how similar Porsches are to porcupines? Except the porcupine has pricks on the outside....

   had it rough growing up. We was so poor, even our rainbows were black and white...

   has been asked to change his status regarding SATC2. Apparently PETA didn't take too well at me comparing Sarah Jessica Parker/Carrie to a horse. It was harsh on horses worldwide..... I am sorry......

   hates it when he goes to a Vuvuzela concert and people start playing football...

   England are to change their shirts for the next game. The 3 lions will be replaced with 3 tampons to represent the worst period they've ever had!!

   going to take a picture of his first kid and use age progression software to figure out what he'll look like when he's 16. Then I'm going to frame the picture and keep it as a centrepiece in the house. Then when the appropriate time comes and he realiz

   met a fairy today who granted me one wish, I want to live forever I said, sorry said the fairy, I am not allowed to grant wishes like that. Fine I said, I want to die when England win the World Cup, 'you crafty b@$t@rd!' said the fairy...

   Deja Vuvuzela - I think I've heard this buzz before....

   realized that a dog is truly a mans best friend. Locked the dog and the wife in the car boot for 1hour. Guess who was happy to see me and who wasn't??

   finally knows why leprechauns laugh when they run...? It's because the grass tickles their nuts...

   just heard that Naomi Campbell walked into a library and asked for Blood Diamond. She was told "sorry dear, you're asking the wrong person, you need a Liberian!!

   "Avatar"... returns to theaters this week, with 9 mins added to the movie. These additional minutes r very important. They explain how the blue ppl got that way by cross-breeding with Smurfs...

   Wonders...Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "If you build it, they will come"

   thanks his mum for teaching him TIME TRAVEL as a kid. She would always say: "straighten up or I'll knock you into next week!"

   likes it when he open a document on the comp and the monitor says WORD. And I'm like, YOOO!!