mullerman Funny Status Messages

   wants everyone to remember that when it seems like God has turned His back on you and He seems so far away....remember this...He's not the One that moved.

   thinks that hard work never killed anybody, but wht take the chance?

   Preserve nature....pickle a squirrel.

   learned to never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

   after all those years working at the Nuclear Power Plant, Uncle Ron was the hands-down favorite to win the 3-legged race.

   annoyed....the FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working!

   really wonders why if Jimmy cracked corn and nobody cared....why did they write a song about him?

   has a dog with no legs named Cigarette. Everyday I put on his leash and take him out for a drag.

   if you want to feel skinny....hang out with a group of fat people!

   anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.

   the difference between an in-law and an out-law is that outlaws are wanted....

   decided to go on a Light Diet....whenever there's light...I eat.

   Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

   If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

   asks...the difference between my boss and the pope? The pope only expects me to kiss his ring

   asks..what's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

   been married for 20 years and has sex almost every day....almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.....

   If you fall, I'll be there - The Floor

   Life is like a roller coaster, and I'm about to throw up.

   thinks it's better to be "over the hill" then under it.