markf Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon secretly wishes Michael had gone ahead and body-slammed Ryan Seacrest last night.
←Rate | 04-01-2010 08:08 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon letdown. Crop circles just don't have the same mystique in backyard grass. (mood: disappointed)
←Rate | 04-10-2010 22:17 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon looking at the "voluntary" tax contribution box on his 1040 form and wondering what planet those IRS guys are from.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad to hear that the IRS is finally concerned that some people have been trying without success to dial the IRS Taxpayer Assistance Hot Line since 1984.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 09:18 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon sad that '24' is coming to an end after 8 seasons. I have given 8 whole days of my life to this series.
←Rate | 04-29-2010 08:53 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon confused...the system admin told me to 'have a little patients.' Does this mean I need to become a pediatrician?
←Rate | 05-03-2010 13:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting ready for May 21st (this Friday) which is Talk Like Yoda Day...practicing we should be, hmm?
←Rate | 05-18-2010 10:04 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why cameras have round lenses that take square pictures.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 19:41 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon passed a door in the stairwell with the sign: "Door is Alarmed." I told it to relax, everything is going to be okay.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:00 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why someone would put down their needle anywhere near a haystack.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 07:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks the markets are sliding faster today than a disgruntled flight attendant.
←Rate | 08-12-2010 13:32 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking they need to rename 'Dancing with the Stars' to 'Dancing with the National Enquirer.'
←Rate | 09-06-2010 08:40 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if someone driving a VW bug knows they are causing fistfights wherever they go.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 22:06 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon heard that Bruce Willis is working on the next Die Hard movie. Working titles are Die Hard: The Colonoscopy or Die Hard: Medicare with a Vengeance.
←Rate | 10-08-2010 12:59 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon relieved to see Facebook finally expanded the Religion choice to include Amish, for all those Amish people out there with computers.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 12:20 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it's funny that the Carnival cruise ship passengers were complaining about having no showers and eating nothing but Spam and Pop-Tarts. Right now thousands of male computer science majors are trying to find out how to sign up for the next cruise.
←Rate | 11-12-2010 07:12 by markf Comments (3)  


   messageicon wondering what Captain Hook's name was before he lost his hand.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 09:39 by markf Comments (5)  


   messageicon thinking that Venti must be the Italian word for "you just paid an insane amount of money for a cup of coffee."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 09:43 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon happy that President Obama recently visited India. Maybe now we can start sending jobs in Congress offshore.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 09:49 by markf Comments (0)  



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