jitney Funny Status Messages

   OMG.......If you go on Google's page, the Google loggo is blackout. The too buttons that are left is "Google Search", and "I'm feeling lucky". Unfortunately my project is due and I'm not so lucky. yeesh(-__-)

   Hey would any of you would like to marry me for a minute? Better yet can all of you marry me? I wanna see if I can have multiple wifes on FB...

   I'm so old, I grew up in an era where your 3D was a View Masters and you sit in the living room clickin about 15 slides. There's your Movie in HD and 3D!!!

   If facebook gets shutdown will Tom send me my password from Myspace back?

   When your clean you use SOAP, when your dirty you use SOPA.......

   Just saw a pic of some light skinned black girls in thongs titled "Red Tails".

   Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!

   Boy: "Can I buy you a drink?"..................... Girl: "Alcohol is bad for my legs"........... Boy: "Why? Do they Swell?".....Girl: "No, they spread."

   As a kid, I use to talk to the fan so I can hear my ROBOT voices.

   Because of KIAs recent recalls, the Raphamsters change their tune frm, "You can can with THis or you can with that" to "You can recall This, or you can recall That"

   I hate it when random people calls me up and asks, "Did I call the right #?" ........"No buddy, you called the Left one!"

   We can bailout Big Banks, but we can save an American Iconic Twinkie factory from going out of business??? Priorities People!!!!

   They say you are whatt you eat, but I dont remember eating a sexy beast,.......hahaha

   With all these Cops on the road, sometimes I pull myself over, just to avoid a cop from reading my tags.

   Superbowl - what my wife eats cereal out of every morning!

   Shouldn't those polar bears have diabetes by now???? #tooMuchCoke

   Dog Commercials during the superbowl are the funniest. I'm going to sign my dog for acting classes. At least they be more greatful than those hamsters I sent, who drove of in my KIA.

   Madonna got a bunch of So-U-think-you-can dance rejected contortionist, and circus animals, and that monkey on a Rope......Someone Shoot the monkey. Wait What da???.........

   Its like a million Nicki Minaj snuck in at the SuperBowl show.....

   1million bucks from the new fantasy game doesn't go far. gas alone gonna take half when you buy any car.