ff1241 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I will not apologize for being awesome.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 23:26 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who thinks that they should be a bracket style tournament for the gangs on Gangland? I would definitely put the DVR to some good use. .
←Rate | 12-03-2010 13:28 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Bacon is meat candy."
←Rate | 12-03-2010 17:36 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's that time of year again when I don't need the refrigerator to keep the beer cold.
←Rate | 12-04-2010 16:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to point out that real men don't sparkle unless he just got back from the titty bar.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 01:44 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish people would understand I only sing when I'm drunk and that little shot of wine in church just doesn't cut it.
←Rate | 12-24-2010 04:07 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do rembe Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.
←Rate | 12-24-2010 15:01 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do remember Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.
←Rate | 12-24-2010 15:08 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.
←Rate | 12-25-2010 03:07 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may still be single but I know that I have saved a lot of money on a wedding and even more on the divorce.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:14 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a Red Bull kind of day.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Years Eve – one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early. I just hope I'll be sober enought to drive from work to the bar.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 18:48 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever own a bar I'm going to name it "church". I'll also get a Mexican bartender named Jesus.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 20:01 by ff1241 Comments (6)  


   messageicon Snowman hunting is good training for the zombie apocalypse.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 03:12 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taboo jeopardy is a lot more fun to play. Maybe because I know the answers.
←Rate | 01-16-2011 21:49 by ff1241 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Chocolate chip cookie dough has a warning to not eat it raw. Who in their right mind is not going to do that. I can't even remember the last time I got cookie dough and made them into cookies.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:25 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone give Bruno Mars a grenade and pull the pin. I'm getting sick of that song. She dosen't love you, I don't wanna hear about how your stalking her.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:26 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if you don't know the local language and need to find a restroom. The universal sign is to act like your holding your penis and making a hissing sound. Don't ask me how I know this.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:27 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was told to set an example. So I picked to be a bad example
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:27 by ff1241 Comments (0)  



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