Samir Momin Funny Status Messages

   I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live...

   I Speak Fluent Sarcasm....

   Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate....

   Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions....

   Why is the jeopardy theme song stuck in my head? its giving me a false sense of anxiety...

   What do you say when an atheist sneezes...?

   thinks he might be addicted to Facebook because he's seeing a lot of random people around the city, that he's already seen on Facebook....

   Why do leprechauns laugh when they run...? cuz the grass tickles their nuts..

   it takes 42 muscles to frown, But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack'em in the head...

   Have you ever noticed that Gatorade doesn't work on guys who suck?

   YAWN so I can see if you're the one...

   Don't waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", think of another song you like and hum that instead......

   stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house but two people died...

   For English: Press 1, Para Espanol: Move to mexico...

   I TOOK A DRUG TEST THE OTHER DAY AND THE TEST RESULTS CAME BACK NEGATIVE. WHICH MEANS MY DEALER HAS SOME F*CKING EXPLAINING TO DO...

   When one person suffers from delusion, it is called insanity.When many people suffer from delusion, it is called religion....

   A RECENT POLICE STUDY FOUND THAT YOU'RE MUCH MORE LIKELY TO GET SHOT BY A FAT COP IF YOU RUN....

   YOU LOOK LIKE I NEED ANOTHER DRINK....

   Right now, my bracket is like a drunken one-night stand: sloppy but still doable....

   The longest sentence known to man: "I do."