Mick F Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Mick F': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 9

   messageicon Facebook's starting to creep me out. I just got a friend request from a woman with the following attached message, "I like you. I like my men like I like my coffee. Freeze dried in a jar kept in the back of the fridge." I clicked "accept". Was that a mist
←Rate | 08-09-2011 03:43 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Midas' touch, Baby! Uh huh, I gots it! Everything I'm touching is turning to gold today. Oh yeah! Wait. Never mind. F**king Cheetos.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 15:36 by Mick F Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm shallow, insecure, narcissistic, schizophrenic, neurotic, sociopathic, and egocentric. I also have a few bad traits.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 07:14 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always polish off a box of Oreos at the Dentists' office right before a cleaning. My last bill was, $2400.00.
←Rate | 08-14-2011 01:37 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you guys ever get the idea while growing up that your parents never really listened to you? One time I asked my mom if I could go outside and watch the solar eclipse and she goes, "Okay, but don't get too close."
←Rate | 08-14-2011 08:17 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good thing these facebook pokes are cyber based. If they were real and unprotected, I wouldn't have a family, I'd have a city.
←Rate | 08-14-2011 19:56 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I happened upon a KKK rally. I said, "The only races you rednecks recognize are Indy and Daytona."
←Rate | 08-17-2011 04:28 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Years ago, my band gigged with a band of morons. The first thing they said to me was, "We're gonna blow you off the stage." I told them, "In that case, right here would be fine."
←Rate | 08-17-2011 12:23 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay. They really should change the name of Judge Judy's show to: "Evidence, Shmevidence. He Just LOOKS Guilty!"
←Rate | 08-18-2011 03:46 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon There aren't many things that I believe less in the world than than some tech support guy in India telling me his name is Jeff.
←Rate | 08-21-2011 10:11 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon McDonald's Happy Meal. A tiny burger, 8 fries, a sip of Coke, and a cheap 2¢ toy. Happy? Yeah, I'm ecstatic.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 09:48 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon The DC Earthquake was caused by direct reverberations from the opposite side of the Earth. It's from China jumping up and down in anger when they realized they're not gonna get their money back.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 19:08 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys...Wanna feel appreciated by your woman? Tighten all the the jar and bottle lids in the house, then leave for a day or two.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 05:20 by Mick F Comments (1)  


   messageicon I Rock, Therefore I Am. I'm Stoned, Therefore I Have the Munchies.
←Rate | 08-27-2011 10:13 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon If more people...instead of stirring the pot, would smoke it...the world would be a happier place.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 09:20 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not rude...I just wasn't taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can't stand.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 08:08 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep telling my friends, "Stop being so sexist....don't you know broads hate that?"
←Rate | 08-31-2011 20:00 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:27 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 07:44 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of my old friends pretend to be content upon a shelf. They've all got little lives and little wives and little lies but little else.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 08:03 by Mick F Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left