MBH Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you...
←Rate | 08-23-2010 13:11 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me refering to my buddy's newborn baby: He's so tiny... Him: You should see the balls on him.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 13:14 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well officer, it wasn't public urination until you started looking at me.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:18 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear reply-to-all sender, we obviously have a mutual friend here and even though I've never met you, I hate you already.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:21 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing I hate about having a phone is when people call.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:22 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon McDonald's is like a one night stand. I crave it. It feels good going down. I completely regret it afterwards.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:25 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon No meal tastes as delicious as the meal that someone else cooks.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:26 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you count, it's called push-ups. When you don't, it's called sex.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:27 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't call it a career, it's more of a soul-sucking paycheck making machine.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:28 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is like a beach ball at a rock concert. It's fun for the people that get to be a part of it and just plain annoying for everyone else.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:29 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching Scarface 'cause I'm gangsta... On VHS 'cause I'm old school.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:31 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Captain Obvious must have been the last superhero name available.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:32 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're wearing sweat pants either you just worked out or you've never worked out.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:35 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I was friends with a midget so I could introduce by saying, "Say hello to my little friend."
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:36 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want 'cause you're not driving.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:38 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Victoria's Secret: objects in this t-shirt may be smaller than they appear.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:39 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon People accuse me of being overly competitive. I'm not. I'm the most non-competitive person in the world. No one even comes close.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:41 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're only young once. After that, you need some other excuse for acting like an idiot.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:41 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon It may be Pre-Season Football, but I'm drinking like this game really counts.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:45 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tom Brady says he refuses to watch Hard Knocks. He doesn't need to watch. The Patriots tape the Jets practices anyway.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:47 by MBH Comments (0)  




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