Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just remember, no matter where you go, there you are. --
←Rate | 04-06-2010 02:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon would explain my awesomeness to you, but your brain would just explode...
←Rate | 04-06-2010 02:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am?
←Rate | 04-06-2010 02:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 02:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
←Rate | 04-06-2010 04:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my office there's a light switch that doesn't do anything... Every so often, I turn it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Stop that!"
←Rate | 04-06-2010 04:57 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?
←Rate | 04-06-2010 05:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids...
←Rate | 04-06-2010 19:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that)
←Rate | 04-06-2010 19:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon went to Barnes & Noble and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose...
←Rate | 04-06-2010 19:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon He who laughs last should do so from a safe distance.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 20:01 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one likes a smartass. Especially another smartass. Unless they have their own TV show, then they're a comic genius.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 20:03 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement
←Rate | 04-06-2010 20:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 20:07 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear...
←Rate | 04-06-2010 20:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon C.R.E.A.M. - Coffee Rules Everything Around Me
←Rate | 04-06-2010 20:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music...
←Rate | 04-06-2010 20:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 20:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I showed my iPad to my iPod, and he was all "what's up fatty".
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to keep his Facebook account but delete his real life...
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:15 by Joser Comments (0)  




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