Joseph Robert Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles
←Rate | 09-23-2011 08:02 by Joseph Robert Comments (1)  


   messageicon I wonder if the people that voted for Obama are the same people that voted for Sanjaya on American Idol?
←Rate | 09-23-2011 12:08 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale of 1-10 I give this day a middle finger
←Rate | 09-23-2011 12:53 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oxiclean commercials just aren't the same without Billy Mays. Also late night tv needs more Vince from Shamwow. That hooker prob had it coming
←Rate | 09-28-2011 10:31 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bacon is meat candy
←Rate | 09-30-2011 10:15 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon carrying a Coach purse, driving a few years old Lexus and paying for your food order with your Access card! I hope you get herpes. Meanwhile I will try and get by on unemployment you f'n baby factory.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:44 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Annie was an orphan because she was a filthy, disgusting, ginger child who wouldn't stop singing
←Rate | 10-21-2011 10:37 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The McRib is like the undead of the sandwich world, it keeps coming back. #ZombieFood!
←Rate | 10-21-2011 15:56 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear girls at the gym, skinny doesn't fix ugly
←Rate | 10-27-2011 11:11 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only candy I'm interested in tonight swings from a pole and has daddy issues
←Rate | 10-28-2011 13:38 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breasts, great on chicks, AND turkeys
←Rate | 11-23-2011 19:43 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet shady people have a really hard time getting tan
←Rate | 01-09-2012 19:46 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to go to parks and watch the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks
←Rate | 01-29-2012 17:04 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon gues she finally exhaled
←Rate | 02-11-2012 20:47 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marsha Brady is gonna freak when she finds out that Davy Jones died
←Rate | 02-29-2012 14:50 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Carroll Shelby went from Alive to Dead in less than 10 seconds
←Rate | 05-11-2012 17:06 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar
←Rate | 06-17-2012 13:41 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The desire to roll around in mud while getting tasered and scraped by barbed wire early in the morning eludes me. It sounds like rough sex without the safe word. #NoThanks
←Rate | 06-17-2012 19:30 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone else remember the day when you found out your parents had other names besides mom and dad? How crazy was that?!
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:15 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying that an iPhone is the best phone because of the battery life is like saying my bicycle is the best car when it comes to fuel economy.
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  




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